Sunday, July 31, 2011

Lucy and Ethel...aka Jackie and Janie

This weekend I helped move my idiot/D.A. name-calling sister.
You know.  the one who calls me those names.
We  had professional movers for the first time ever.
We have always moved everyone with a cattle trailer and oour family men.
This time we were happy to have just boxes to move and just 
have to re-arrange furniture a tad.
Our sister, Linda  and her husband David were there to help.
Mom and Dad came to unwrap dishes and go to lunch.
We kick butt when we move each other.
We unpack it all.
The place looks great.
The front porch is decorated and the patio is set up too.
The garage is organized and finished. Boxes are ready for the garbage.
The appliances come Monday.
She has to get food after that and then she is done.
The house could have magazine photos taken.
(Although, I could not take pictures because my camera situation is not resolved )
After these last 2 days I want to share a few pointers of what NOT to do.

  •  Decide at  9:30 p.m. to finally go get some dinner, then pick a joint that takes a full hour to get you served.

  •  Visit Wal-Mart at 10:30 for a cartload of supplies and for pajamas, yoga pants, and tee for the next day's work because you have decided to spend the night. Completely miss all signs touting "These doors are closed at ten" and just pry open the doors to Walmart with your hands.

  •  Decide you will just organize a bit in the garage around midnight and let that bit turn into a full blown obsession.

  • Lock you and your helper-sister in the garage. Panic. Drop a few choice words. Eventually open the garage door and try the front door that you insist she locked. Rejoice when it is unlocked.

  • Set off your car alarm at 2 a. m. in your brand new neighborhood. Struggle for way too long to disable the alarm.

  •  Wait to decide to quit and shower when your feet have become bloody stubs and it is 3:10 a.m. 

  •  Sit and straddle the new hose reel when hooking up the new hose. Remain sitting and straddling the reel when you test for leaks. Spraying water is a good sign of a leak but soaking your crotch with icy water is a definite sign there is a leak.

  • When the only appliance you have is a deep freeze, do make frozen fruit into smoothies for lunch. However, don't try to push down fruit with a wooden spoon while the blender is running. That adds the wrong kind of fiber and leads name-callers to consider drinking it anyway. Strongly discourage that with scary tales of surgeries you have heard.

 I am good at moving. I am fast. I am an organizing freak and a decorating nut. I am not for hire. But, I do help for smoothies and toast.
P.S. You may need increase your home owner's insurance. Just sayin'.

Saturday, July 30, 2011

And the winner is...

The winner of the bee necklace is #23.
I used random generator.
Jackie(Michelle's friend),  you win.
I will be in touch by email.
Thanks everyone 
for loving Annie's work.
And well, reading mine :)

Thursday, July 28, 2011


Today, I was laughing at Abbie.
There are some words she cannot stand to hear.
Then I got to thinking of my own list.
toe jam.
hubby. (sorry to all you bloggers)
belly hole. (I gag a little.)
panties.( eww )
I hate a cardboard box 
being dragged across concrete.
I mean, shoot me now.
Certain fabrics that stick to dry fingers.
Someone leaves a restroom without
washing their hands.
Seeing someone working in a restaurant
rub their eye.
How about you...
what drives you crazy?

Wednesday, July 27, 2011


There is something funny going on.
Who has the voodoo doll of me?
I envision the scenario like 
Gilligan and Skipper always had
with the island natives.
You youngsters google Gilligan's Island.
Gilligan not Jim Gaffigan.
 I do love him too.
Hot Pockets.
There is a difference.
Anyway, the subject of this post is
something is up around here.
I am going through electronics at an alarming pace.
First, my Blackberry died Sunday.
Next, my camera on Monday.
Today, the Kindle.
Verizon replaced the phone.
The camera dying is a good thing.
The pictures were always blurry.
I have to return it 
and it is under warranty.
I plan to get something different, if possible.
The Kindle is not under warranty.
The good news is they are cheaper now
and I don't  have to get the 3G 
like last time b/c that was all there was.
Although, maybe I should just
write letters,
take to sketching,
and pick up a real book.
As for now, 
I am wrapping the computers in bubble wrap,
and praying over the central air. 

Here is the Hot Pocket video...
one of my all time faves.
Too funny.

 Oh, and don't forget to comment for the give-away

Tuesday, July 26, 2011


Woo hoo!
I can't believe it!
I am excited.
While I would write this blather
with or without readers,
it does make me happy 
that I do have you who read.
To celebrate
I am having my first give-away.
I am offering a custom necklace from Annie.
They are sterling silver and so cute.

You pick which shape and which word you want.
It can be(e) kind, humble, love, inspirational, strong... etc.
It will come with a bee charm and an 18" chain.
Leave a comment for a chance.
Give-away will end on Saturday July 30th.
Thanks for reading.
You make me smile!!

P.S. The fleas are d.e.a.d.!!

Monday, July 25, 2011


We have uninvited visitors.
Unwanted critters in the barn.
Stinking sex-crazed fleas.
They are reproducing at an alarming rate.
I should buy stock in flea bombs.
They are in the woodworking room
in the room 
where Brenda Dog and Harley Dog sleep.
Stuart bombed twice to no avail.
Today I checked it out.
I was attacked.
I rushed outside.
They were thick on my legs.
I knocked them off and
and whipped off my shirt
so they wouldn't get in my hair.

Jackie was with me.
She took off her pants.

We live in a rural area, thank you Jesus.
I think the problem is
Stuart didn't get rid of the carpets in their kennels...
and there was piece of carpet left from 
one of the rental homes
under the big table.
They were thick in it.
I burned the rugs.
I treated the dogs again.
I hope this works or you may see dogs
looking like this very soon.

And an apology to the neighbors 
who may or may not have been passing by,
sorry about the old half-naked women in the barn lot.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Cake Schmake

The story of my life...
trying to lose some poundage.
I am the queen of yo-yo dieting.
I have a problem with sugar.
I don't sleep through the night
and the fact is eating sugar makes it worse.
If I lay off it, I sleep through the night most of the time.
Sugar is so addictive for me.
I am insulin resistant from what I experience when I eat it.
Insulin is a hormone and
at this stage of life I have hormones
in the throes of dying.
Heck, they are really dead and just decomposing at this stage.
I have read the books.
I know the facts.
I know the plan that works for me, when I do it.
Last week, I started reading 
Made to Crave 
and it is really good.
My blogger friend, Courtney 
recommended  it and it is just what I needed.
I think it is awesome
but I am realistic enough to know I will struggle some.
But I refuse to give up.
So I have left sugar behind.
 I am going to sleep better.
I am going to crave a closer walk with God,
and not unduly give cake importance.
Doing bible study,
being close to God daily, changes my life...
any weight loss that comes with it
will be serendipitous.
Now some fat 
that we all are okay with.

Now that is cute.


I am on crushing on this.
I heard it when I went to the Coop Keeper's
and  I am still singing it.
Love it.

Saturday, July 23, 2011

What I Know For Sure - 12th Edition

1. If better is possible, good is not enough.

2. If you love Jesus, feed his sheep. Helping someone else is how we
show our love for Christ.

3. Loving an animal awakens part of your soul.

4. A sandwich or a salad is always better when someone else makes it.

5. If you won't worship Jesus in the wilderness you won't worship 
him in the Promise Land.

6. Friendship isn't about who you have known longer, it is about the ones who came and never left your side.

7. Accidentally leaving home without your cell phone can be a blessing in disguise.

8. My bird feeders' visitors are producing more sprouts than the seed packages I used. 

9. When the bathroom air freshener is empty, that scent is guilty by association.

10. I love old farm-y, rusty things but I am not loving this old farmer's fake tan, rusty ankles.

11. Serendipity is what happens when two or three get together and 
share their lives and the Holy Spirit does something beautiful when you least expect it.

12. A slur against people with disabilities should not be tolerated any more than a slur against people's religion or race.

13. I cannot abide using a paper cup at home, yet I prefer them over foam at a restaurant.

14. I am sad for Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony's twins.

15. The best way to cure jealously is to rejoice with the one you envy.

16. Suzanne Somers is spot on... the seven signs of menopause are
itchy, bitchy, sweaty, sleepy, bloated, forgetful and all dried-up.

17. Having sisters is a blessing.

18. When planting in May, I need to remember all the hose dragging that is required in July.

19. Over-eating watermelon can be quite cleansing.

20. You know your air-conditioner is working well if you wake to foggy windows.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

good golly

Monday, my sister Judy and I had to go to do
some banking business for our folks.
We met up with the other sisters,
Jackie, Linda and her husband, one of her daughters,
her grandson and Mom and Dad.
We all had lunch and a visit.
Judy and I drove back home
and did the sister gab the whole way.
She mentioned she wanted to re-cover her
sofa in her travel trailer...yada yada yada.
More on that later.
Tuesday, the sisters and I had a shopping trip
to St. Louis.
Judy and I live in the same town.
We were to meet up with them 
and go from a central location.
Judy and I had about a forty minute drive
before we met them so, as we are on our way
we did the sister yakking thing.
Again the subject of her couch came up.
She mentioned that she had to match it's fabric
with the window treatments in the trailer.
She didn't want to invest in changing them
and they were in good shape.
I say" well when we go to St. Louis 
bring one of the pillows off the couch
because there will be a Hancock Fabrics close by."
She said, "Janie, that is today."
What the hello kitty.
We are driving there and I say "when we go"... sheesh.
I need a nap. a pill. a keeper.
A lobotomy, please.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

No worries

My kids are grown.
I had mine close together.
I stayed home with them and
was blessed to be able to do that.
 The years were sometimes messy
and now it seems as if they flew by.
As I read some blogs
I see a common thread...
mothers questioning
their decisions.
Mothers hoping they are 
doing the "mom thing" right.
Despite my efforts,
my girls are well adjusted,
smart, successful, 
Christian women.
All are married and 
now two are great mothers. 
I jest obviously. 
I had my shining moments
but I also made  mistakes.
Truly though,
life is a blur.
Do what you can
and don't beat yourself up.
When you are questioning
your parenting skills
refer to this picture
of Annie's first day of kindergarten.
She went half days, only in the afternoon.
Pay close attention to Abbie on the side of the picture.

filthy shirt,√
unkempt hair,√
no pants,√
Real nice.
God only knows where baby Maggie was.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Annie's necklace project

Take a moment to check out Annie's blog.
She created a necklace for the IDSC 
(International Down Syndrome Coalition for Life.) 
It's a necklace to help raise awareness.  
As it turns out, 90% of babies diagnosed with DS prenatally 
are terminated. 
 IDSC has a mission. 
 They want people to know that ALL life is precious. 
 It is also a support system 
for those that chose to end their pregnancy, 
to educate and heal,
 not condemn.
  Down Syndrome is just a diagnosis, 
it does not define the person.
We want to change steroetypes
about children with DS and their abilities.
We expect great things from our Ollie.

We are not setting any limitations.
Her life will have joy and purpose.
She is as worthy of life as anyone else.
She is different but by no means less.
She is going to shoot for the moon
and even if she lands in the stars instead,
it will be a life we celebrate.
She is a gift who just happens to have DS.
I am so proud of her and her mama.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

My blogging ritual

I have been blogging for 6 months.
I'm still amazed how much
I truly love it.
I have found friends and kindred spirits
through my readers.
It still astonishes me that 
anyone cares what I have to say
or that anyone actually misses me
when I don't blog.
Before I blog I get psyched up.
I do some stretches and then 
I watch this video I shot 
when I first started blogging.
I watch it regularly
to give myself
some daily affirmation.
 I was a little hoarse
and my hair was lighter...
but yes, it really is me...
I just changed my name for anonymity.

Friday, July 15, 2011

Falsely Accused

Yesterday Maggie and I were sitting 
in the family room
while Aubrie played Little Pet Shop.
Trudie Dog apparently had one of the accessories
in her mouth.
Aubrie says "Trudie, What the he**?"
We were both shocked.
I told her "hey that is a bad word "
and she said "what did I say?"
Long story short...
the girls say it came from me.
That I have taught her this offensive word.
Me, who has been outta town.
Me, who makes a point not to say bad words.
Me, the grandma who does not take them
twice a week to the pool.
(insert the name Ruby here)
Me, the grandma who earlier in the day
said "Everett what in the hell are you doing?"
(insert dish soap in the mouth here)
God save the Queen.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

I'll sleep when I'm dead.

I am tired.
I am dragging
Last night I went to the theater
It was The Producers.
The crowd was in hysterics.
Everyone was cackling.
I was asleep.
I kept nodding off.
I near snapped my neck
more than once.
I tried to appear coherent
but they said they were aware 
of my narcolepsy.
Maybe the drool was an indication.
I like to throw money down a hole.
It is how I roll.
I buy a ticket
just to sleep
in an itty-bitty crummy seat.
Today I kept all the big monkeys.
I nodded off reading to Caroline.
I laid down by Everett so he'd nap
and I dozed off.
I was in and out of consciousness
sitting on the couch
while they napped 
and Aubrie played Pet Shop.
I have a to-do list for tonight
and I need to be up for my usual
2am - 4am
blog reading and 
viewing of the old sitcom The Nanny.
Looks like coffee and more coffee
may need to be on the dinner menu.
As Stuart always says
No rest for the wicked and
the righteous don't need it.
Say what?

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

up with the chickens

I was squirreled away in "The Squirrel"
for a few hours each night
to be rudely interrupted each morning by 
 He is the cock of the walk.
He got us all stirred up.

Each morning,
I went on a garden tour by myself
only to be followed and harassed the entire time.

We visited another pal and her sweet littles.
Ruby is shy and sweet.
I tried to no avail 
get her cuteness to climb in my pocket
and return home with me.
Oh my Siley Pie,
those eyes!
I believe none of the antics your mama 
claims you are up to.

And Calvin is smart and adorable
and betrothed to my Miss Aubrie.

We had lunch and played.
Jayme stirred the kiddos into a frenzy
that almost rendered her a spanking.

Aaron was in tow.
I adored him as  much as he could tolerate.
He also refused to come home in my pocket.

We had late dinners,
took a 5 mile trek, and spent much time gabbing.
I ate clean and strength trained.
I was in boot camp for free.
 I was treated like 
the kind of relatives you like.
I will be returning, but
I am taking a bigger pocket.

more later

I am home.
 I am thrilled to be with my sweetie
but I miss my friend.
I wish she loved down the road.
I had a wonderful visit.
It was like hanging with a relative.
Easy, no-fuss fun.
I didn't open my laptop 
and I feel like I have lost the blogger mojo.
Normally I can't wait to get
my blather out,
but I feel incredibly ""story-less".
I have a busy morning
but I will get down to the fabulousness of her
hopefully later today.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Fox and the Chicken

As soon as I get home from church tomorrow
I am hitting the highway.
I am off to see this pal.
We are going to tear it up.
I am so excited I probably won't sleep.
She will put me in bootcamp, I hope. 
I am going to fawn over Aaron 
and frolic in her lovely gardens.
Pray for travel mercies for me.
I will hug her for all of you.
I will be home late Tuesday
with stories to regale you.

Friday, July 8, 2011

My camper

I am finally getting around to posting pictures
of my little camper.
I named her Lisa Patricia Layton.
She is a 1964 Layton.
The top 2 names in 1964 were Lisa and Patricia,
hence her name.

She is never leaving the yard. 
She is just a playhouse of sorts
for my own enjoyment.
She is pretty sweet for $150.
I got a good deal.
I did the bare minimum to her.
A little paint and a lot of scrubbing.
I wanted to retain her "vintage bones".

The original ticking mattress was super cute, 
but too mousey to save.
I have a twin air mattress there  now.
As soon as someone in the family
is pitching a double mattress, 
I am begging for their castoff.

The bread box was in it.
I think it is cute.
I also love the turquoise wheel well.

 The turquoise thing above the curtains is a cot 
made out of canvas that rolls across and hooks 
for a twin bed.
The table becomes a bed too.

Aubrie made me some origami cats to decorate with.

Annie made the curtains out of some fabric I bought.
Everything else  I already had in tubs in storage.
I told you, I am a collector.
When I closed my shop I kept some things I still loved.
Thank God for barns.
The north side of the back yard looks like this.
 The little table is a checkers table 
from the front of a store
where old men used to play.
It has the name Jane scratched in it.
I knew it had to be mine.
 Fire pit and seating .

The kids have a sand pile on the side of the playhouse
where the little chairs are .
 I want it to eventually feel like a campground.
I have to under plant some yews.
We have some tree trimming to do first.
Too much rain and farming seem to interfere.
Dern bills, I guess farming and baling
will have to take precedence
over my landscaping plans.
 I will post the playhouse soon.
Uploading pictures takes sooo long.
I have a busy weekend and an adventure on 
Sunday to Tuesday.
I am uber excited about it!
Have a great weekend.


Miss Ollie is growing like a weed.
She is off of house arrest and
can go into public now.
She is a goof.
She is crazy limber.
She appreciates the taste of a good sock.

She pretends she is on the phone.

She likes to hang around the dock
doing her "Howdy Sailor" pose.

And she has captured my heart.

She is super fun.
Isn't she grand?
Our God is good.