Thursday, January 24, 2013

Save the date, or not.

Early in the week I took a little road trip
to see my pal Jayme aka the coopkeeper.
My plan... do a bit of thrifting,
help on a re-do of her guest room,
 and flop on her couch with coffee
getting our gab on.
Her me like a rented mule.
We thrifted. Oh baby, we hit the jackpot.
We did some couch sitting too.
We had some "Downton" time.
However at one point things went a bit awry for me.
We were all seated up at the kitchen island and
Jayme was serving me fresh dates.
I cannot get such fancy fruit here in the 'ville
so I was really happy to get to experience them.
We were enjoying ourselves when we detect smoke.
Jayme: What's Glen doing in the basement to cause all the smoke?"
At that moment  I start to wheeze.
Then, I freak in my mind.
It is coming from me!
I am spontaneously combusting!
Oh dear Lord, I thought that was a myth and
now here I am burning up in my cohort's kitchen!
I look at Jayme for support.
She's in flat out hysterics.
The doubled over cackling pose.
I jump up and run to the bathroom
to check my mouth that she's pointing at
while laughing her arse off.
My tongue and teeth are black.

Apparently, I had chosen a date with a mold situation.
Oh how very hospitable of her to share it.
I hacked and snotted, took an antihistimine
and was able to continue the visit.
Now though, I gotta run...
I have an appoinment with
a personal injury attorney in 15.
I'll own that coop.


Friday, January 18, 2013

Dogs Tales

I was hoping to have some awesome blog post
up in here on the screen for y'all to read.
I fear it may never happen.
I have been busier than a cat covering his doodoo.
Maggie moved over the weekend.
She worked us like dogs all week,
then this morning she hightailed it for Disney World.
In addition to that offense, she left me with her dog.
Hazel is a Chihuahua.
She is little, she is cute,
and she will cut you.
I am not even kidding.
She is territorial.
She loves me but don't come for a visit.
She won't welcome you.
She will nip your heels
and bark her fool head off.
I love her.
I am one of very few who do.
 I can't get blogger to upload pics today
but just imagine her here.
Speaking of dogs...
Reta followed me everywhere yesterday morning.
She rarely moves so it was disconcerting.
She came upstairs and sat outside the shower.
She followed me up and down several times.
That was huge because she never comes upstairs.
It was weirding me out.
I wondered is she dying and afraid to be alone.
That theory was stupid because if she were dying
she couldn't horse her girth up and down steps.
Then I thought is Stella dying?
 She is 13 and a slug.
She is also deaf, so she doesn't move.
You call her to go out and she doesn't move,.
I have go look to see her breath.
Seriously I have panicked more times than I care
only to realize she is just snoozing.
Side note:
*My MIL assures me looking dead and being dead are two very different things after finding her old pug had died in the night a few months ago.*
That concludes my happy story for the day.
Aren't you glad I am back blogging?
Anyhoo..back to Reta and her odd behavior.
Maybe there was a storm coming but I looked at
 my phone weather app. and it was all clear...
Maybe an earthquake was pending?
Had someone fallen in a well?
Did she miss me?
Did she know I was leaving for the day?
Was I gearing up to have a seizure,
a heart attack...
maybe I was going to die.
Was she trying to tell me something?
Oh she definitely was..
her water bowl needed filled.
Sheesh harpy old hound.