Monday, October 21, 2013

What I Know For Sure -29th Edition



1. Instagram has become my mini blog. Follow me at janiefox2.

2. I admit to loving a hashtag and constantly over using it.
#icantcare #getoverit #yourenotthebossofme

3. I was saddened but not surprised to learn of Kris and Bruce Jenner's impending divorce.
Over the last few years she has morphed into a media ho and he has morphed into an old lady.

4. I am not a Halloween fan b/c I don't like the scary part of it. However, I am a huge fan of fall pranking and dressing up.



5. When someone leaves their doors unlocked during prime pranking season, it is an invitation to enter and re-arrange their living room.

6. If we eat all your mini Butterfingers, I will make good and replace with a new bag.

7. Life-size silhouettes beg for conversation bubbles to be placed on them. #howudoin'?

8. When Annie and Jade have a Beachbody event outta town, Grandma Janie will pony up and spend the night with the kids. Pa Stuart will farm until 11p.m. then insist the need to stay in his own bed so he can rise every few hours and check his corn bin transfers.

9. I invited Caroline to spend the night with the gang because 4 spilled bowls of popcorn are better than 3.

10. I am not a fan of cats. Annie and Jade have a teenage house cat.

11. You know when a cat is a teenager because they are long and skinny. They are annoying, and want to stay up late at night and be loud.

12. Stella went to stay with Annie's family when we had a fire. She never returned home. It is better this way since she stole Everett's heart and she took her funky smell with her.

13. Letting the house cat out when you let the dogs out at bedtime is not a good idea. They head straight for the ornamental grasses.

14.Coyotes like the dark. And teenage cats.

15. Texting for instructions is key to retrieving the cat. Or waiting until it comes up on it's own.



16. Some people over react when things go off schedule at bedtime.

17. If you are the only one in the home who is allergic to cats, the cat will demand to sleep with you.

18. A cat's median body temperature is 212 degrees.

19. Moving your feet under a quilt doubles as a biting game for teenage cats.

20. When you give a 4 yr old  a homemade cookie and she lays down only to have a 2 yr old swipe it and you say..."you cannot lay food down where she can get it. She is a shark." ...your Animal Planet obsessed 7 yr. old granddaughter will add "well, actually sharks are not always aggressive. She is really more of a piranha."

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Loved



Hey gang...
how are y'all?
Life is busy here with harvest and family.
Everybody is good.
I really appreciate the emails from you readers
asking me to blog again.
I want to, but I want to sit on the porch,
sit around a fire,
go to festivals and auctions with friends.
I have grands' soccer games to attend
and family to take pranking.  
There's leaves that need raked,
farmers that want fed and always chores to get after.
I haven't read blogs hardly at all.
but I did catch a few this week.
It actually inspired this post.
 I read a blog where the author was really struggling with hard stuff.
I hurt for her and prayed for her.
I thought about how blessed my life is.
I went as far as thinking...
"gee, I have such a great life.
I have hardly had any sorrows."
Then I realized uh yeah, I have.
To name  just a few...
our twins death,
my dear college friend died at age 37, from colon cancer leaving two young children.
Stu's uncle, that we adored, died in his sleep at age 51.
Maggie had a 4-wheeler wreck and had to have emergency surgery.
my mom almost died on a trip to Branson and had a heart valve replaced.
my good junking pal went into the hospital with pneumonia
and died of a heart attack while there
my beloved father-in-law showed up here at the farm same as always, bright and early,
only to fall ill, be rushed to the hospital and die by that afternoon of an aneurism.
our beautiful nephew was killed in a car wreck leaving behind a wife and two little kids.
a close friend hurt me so bad that our friendship never recovered.
a family member betrayed and cheated us.
my dad suffered from Alzheimer's
 while we watched his personality and health decline in a very ugly way.
Ollie was born with a heart defect and needed Open Heart surgery.
We had two fires this Spring.
First the house and then a few months later,
a hay field, and a truck and trailer while hauling big hay bales.
Did I forget those stressful things?
No.
The honest truth is God made it bearable.
He never left us.
He gave us strength.
He carried us on the truly hardest days.
I cannot imagine how those trials would have affected us if we were not believers.
His promises kept us strong.
Oh sure,
we have questions.
We wonder why at times.
But, I know when I walk in Heaven's gates
 those questions we will have obvious answers.
Our God has a plan.
His plan is always, always the best.
I have witnessed it time and time again.
I admit there are times I tried to do it myself,
only to realize I needed to give to God.
I'm far from being perfect.
I am the one who lays it down but then picks it back up.
Over the  years, I have learned that taking it back does not work.
I need the Lord and
his wisdom, his guidance, and his strength.
I don't want to live in this world without him.
The truth is our blessings
during/after those hard times
far, far outweighed the strife.
Our most precious blessing being the gift of his unfailing love.
With Jesus, life is good
even when it's not because,
God is good all the time.
He really, really is.
 
 
 
 
 
 


Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Conversations

 
 
Abbie and Zac  are getting ready to move.
Their house has been a project for months.
This weekend it is finally time to move the boxes.
There has been many hours of dry walling, painting, and cleaning.
We are in the final stretch.
I swear we would think okay, the painting is done.
We would go home and return to see someone had gone crazy
with painter's caulk and we needed to touch up once again.
The floors have been the same story.
Clean them.
Leave.
Come back to find paint splatters on the wood.
Assume the position of hands and knees, then scrub.
The work has led to many conversations.
Most are truly ridiculous.
Yesterday Abbie and I were painting the back porch.
We were discussing how people use the wrong words.
She said she cringes when she hears people say
"for all intensive purposes" instead of "intents and purposes".
I said mine is the confusion with taut and taunt and
people incorrectly using loose and lose.
Taut means tight.
Taunt means to tease.
You lose weight so your pants are loose.
Then we both admitted we do it.
We use the wrong words.
But we both said that we are dumber.
Trust me, she is not even dumb.
She is young and she is a doctor.
I am neither.
Dumber happens.
Use it or lose it?
Nah, I think it is aging that does it.
I also think it is all the texting and emailing.
When I stopped hand writing, I got sloppy.
Oh yeah, and of course I believe Dead Estrogen is the main culprit.
Abbie said that after having Cliff, she is more apt to mix up words.
She told me she read that each time a woman gives birth,
her intelligence diminishes.
I said, "Man, that  Duggar woman must be a complete idiot by now."
(FYI Michelle Duggar is on the TLC show
19 kids and Counting. They are all biological children.
I suspect her brain is not all that has suffered.)
However, the truth is
 I don't really care about your spelling, your punctuation, or your grammar.
If you say "she hasn't any shoes",
or "she doesn't have shoes";
or "she ain't got no shoes"
I can't care.
What I care about is if she is shoe-less,
that you are concerned about that fact.
I don't really worry about our use of the English language.
I care about the condition of our hearts.
You can say it any way you want.
Just say it with love.
Put down those imaginary red pens
and go help someone who needs it.
Give a smile, a hug, or a dollar or two.
Be kind.
Love one another.
It madders matters.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


Thursday, August 1, 2013

Well, Julie asked...

 
 
I always have blog plans.
Something happens and I think "I'm blogging that!"
I even sometimes write it in my head in the night while trying to sleep,
or while driving...you know times when you don't need to pay attention.  duh.
Then life happens or TV shows made before HD come on.
 I am a sucker for that.
But my funny pal Julie asked a question on my last blog post and I cannot ignore her,
or just take time to personally email her back a response.
Mainly because she asked it with a compliment and I want that to be a requirement from now on.
Her question was
p.s. Why do you hate being in pictures?
You are BEAUTIFUL!
Now, this is how you ask a question readers...
and please don't question her sobriety.
I am sure she was of sound mind.
So, Julie, I chose to answer you my dear, sweet, gorgeous friend here on the blog.
Put down the margarita pitcher and read on...
When I was a kid I went to a country school
that was so small that the classes were combined.
First and second grade together,
third and fourth etc.
This is where I went until Jr. High
and then I went to the big town, population 4995.
At the country school we had 9 in my class.
4 boys and 5 girls...
one of who was Jackie, my twin and favorite sidekick.
Every year we would pick out our favorite outfit, usually matching,
and show up for picture day with freshly chopped bangs
or a bangin' new Toni home perm.
Weeks later the pix would arrive.
It was like Christmas only with just school picture packets and no gifts.
Everyone would open the envelopes and show all their cute smiles.
I would hunker over mine to the same scenario every. damn. year.
One eye closed with an idiot's grin.
No joke.
We would take them home to rave reviews of Jackie's.
Mom would cut up Jackie's package into individual pictures
so she could participate in the friends' picture swap the next day.
Mine would get re-packaged and the form filled out
 RETAKES for Janie/Quasimodo Adkins.
The following week a magician would show up and I would get mine taken again.
None of the other 8 in my class had a problem with cameras.
I was the only one who "seizured" at a camera flash.
Weeks later after all the hullabaloo had fizzled,
my new photos would arrive from the poor sap who got assigned to the second go-round.
No one had pictures left  to exchange.
 No one even remembered that I hadn't been involved in the first exchange.
I know you are wondering...how is Janie so well adjusted?
Sadly, I haven't honed my photo-sitting skills.
I still throw my head back so I have multiple necks and chins.
I work up a gong-y eye and I usually show every filling I have.
Just ask my kids.
That hateful Sea World took my picture
while I was descending from a death dive on one of their dangerous rides.
The picture was typical of my posing.
My kids still laugh about that danged picture.
 They say I look like a
dead Asian man.
Well, hello Beautiful.
 So my lovely Julie, this is where my disdain of photography
starts and ends.
It is getting better in this age of digital.
If I can control it, the truly ugly are deleted.
Only the false and beautiful are presented by me.
The one on this blog header was taken by my 7 year old grand daughter, Aubrie.
It is in no way typical.
It will probably remain here until another freak incident occurs
and I end up looking like I am sane and un-dead.
 
 
 
  
 
 
 
 
 
 


Tuesday, July 16, 2013

What I Know For Sure 28th Edition



1. You don't have to be the person painting to drag your hair through the fresh paint. Or your sleeve.

2. Mowing with a zero turn lawn mower is an adventure. Especially when you take out your satellite dish.

3 After living in a 30' camper for 12 weeks, our house feels like the Taj Mahal.

4. I have started a workout program called T25 from Shaun T of Beachbody fame. I have re-named it P25 in honor of my bladder.

5. When in Disney you cannot rain on my parade even when it literally rains on my parade.

 

6. New red hats in the rain bleed profusely. They end up in the trash before they can ruin new white pants.

7. Professional movers pack a bit different than I do. Some boxes have 4 items in them. Some have 101. Wrapping a plastic hand broom and dustpan in bubble wrap and paper then putting it in a box with a vase and a bowl is the way they roll.

8. Embarrassment is realizing as you unpack a box's contents that your fitness before and after  photos were sent off to the restoration company with no explanation as to why these pictures exist.

9. I am not smarter than a 5th grader. One episode of that show convinced me. But I am funnier than a certain farmer. Even if he disputes the fact.

10. The main reason I do not blog is the picture component. I dislike taking pictures and I detest being in them. I do not edit and I have no desire to learn to edit. I also don't blog because I have discovered The Waltons are on 4 times a day. Monitoring my dvr is a time suck and blogging falls to the wayside.

11. Reta moved home. Stella stayed at Annie's. Apparently the food falling from kids' chairs is much more of a draw than the peace and quiet of the old folks' home.

12. My linens will never look as good as this again. I suspect Satan designed king-sized fitted sheets.
 
13. All my clothes and linens came back beautifully hung and/or folded. All except for my American and Christian flags. They were stuffed into a plastic quart bag. They are back on their poles in their stands. A few wrinkles can't keep my Sunday School roots down. 




14. I pray for celebrities, like little baby North West.  Randy Travis. And George Clooney. I am just sure that he is lonely.

15. Baby Cliff is 10 mos. old. He has had 4 haircuts. He is the envy of his Great Uncle Doug.

16. Aubrie and Everett are in desperate want of hamsters.  They are convinced that I will buy
 anything they want when their mom says it is something they need to save for. I think I may  have created that monster.

17. When we were unpacking, Aubrie noticed I had a vintage fish bowl. She said she would get me a fish. I was all yeah, yeah. Then she and her mother did. We have named him Miracle. It is a miracle I allowed it and a miracle if he lives.

18. I think fish and hamsters are a fair trade. Look out Petco... I have hamsters to gift.

19. Caroline wants a pony. I am scared to think what is a fair trade to that.

20. I will do a blog of the house restoration...just as soon as the I Love Lucy marathon is over.

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Popping in

Howdy peeps!
I am just popping in to say" hey"
 and let you know I am popping out to a quick vacation.
We are still camping in the drive.
 The house is looking good.
No word on the contents, other than the usual...
"you are a big job."
Excuse me? What the Hello Kitty?
Carpet is to be laid in my master bedroom on June 7th.
 I hope our stuff comes from the restoration company shortly after that.
Until then, I have plans.
Come this Thursday Jackie and I are whisking our  mom, Toots off in a big ol' jet airliner
to the sunny state of Florida. 
We are meeting up with my niece Ellen, her daughter Sophie and my oldest sister, Judy.
(I feel like there should be commas between the person's relationship to me and their name
 but then it just looked like too many commas.
My old English teacher has expired and I have retained nothing of my formal education.
Or the informal.
I do remember Pink Floyd saying we don't need no education...
For now, I rely on Nick Kids to school me.)
Did I lose ya back there?
Unfortunately my sister, Linda who is my fellow decorating machine couldn't make this trip.
We are technically going there to decorate my sis's vacation house.
The place she hangs all winter... like Illinois is cold or something. Pfft
This house is the replacement of her 5th wheel where I currently abide..
She didn't offer the vacay house up for my interim dwelling.
Maybe she didn't think she had room for the cattle.
I'll give her the benefit of the doubt on that.
Luckily, it's not all work ahead.
There's is thrifting in the itinerary, IKEA, and of course, a visit to my mother ship....Home Goods.
However, the grand daddy of it all...we are hitting Magic Kingdom with Toots in tow.
She's 89 and wanting to party like Cinderella.
Well, like a princess on a scooter.
Depending on how hard we all work,
we may be a royal court on scooters.
No doubt there will be some hobbling.
I am famous for wearing flip flops for 12 miles of walking only to
end the day with crying dogs.
So yes,  I am leaving poor Stu here to carry on.
Someone has to batten down the hatches in the camper when the tornados threaten...
which is just about daily.
While I am away, I am hoping it quits raining and he finishes planting.
I have a big to-do list when those contents aka the" big job" come home.
Don't cry for him Argentina.
I am leaving 3 capable daughters here to keep him
in line well fed and cared for properly.
Until I return, keep the home fires burning.
Well not literally, trust me it's a big old mess...
actually the word on the street is
 it's a "big  job".

 
 
 
 
 

Friday, May 10, 2013

Home Sweet Camper



I told you I'd post some pictures of the camper
 we are living in while the house is being restored
from our fire.
It is technically(I have been informed)
a 5th wheel.
It belongs to my sis, Judy and her husband.
It is for sale.
They stay in it in FL in the winter
but have bought a house so it is up for grabs.
If you are in the market...I can hook you up
but only when I am out of it.
So take a peek.
 


 
 


 
 
 


 
 
It's a pretty sweet deal.
It's right outside the house.
We are able to shower in the downstairs bath
so that cuts down on our "gray"water".
I do a little cooking and I am able to use our grill, of course.
You know the old adage
"if the camper's rocking..."
well, in our case it is because
it's a major thunderstorm and
we may be in the basement.
It has been raining practically daily
since we moved in.
The rain on the tin is soothing.
The wind, not as much.
So there's the tour.
Drop in
or like most days, blow in.
You can help do insurance logs.
I have coffee and satellite.
You know, the necessities.