Loved

Hey gang...

how are y'all?

Life is busy here with harvest and family.

Everybody is good.

I really appreciate the emails from you readers

asking me to blog again.

I want to, but I want to sit on the porch,

sit around a fire,

go to festivals and auctions with friends.

I have grands' soccer games to attend

and family to take pranking.  

There's leaves that need raked,

farmers that want fed and always chores to get after.

I haven't read blogs hardly at all.

but I did catch a few this week.
It actually inspired this post.

 I read a blog where the author was really struggling with hard stuff.

I hurt for her and prayed for her.

I thought about how blessed my life is.

I went as far as thinking...

"gee, I have such a great life.

I have hardly had any sorrows."

Then I realized uh yeah, I have.

To name  just a few...

our twins death,

my dear college friend died at age 37, from colon cancer leaving two young children.

Stu's uncle, that we adored, died in his sleep at age 51.

Maggie had a 4-wheeler wreck and had to have emergency surgery.

my mom almost died on a trip to Branson and had a heart valve replaced.

my good junking pal went into the hospital with pneumonia

and died of a heart attack while there

my beloved father-in-law showed up here at the farm same as always, bright and early,

only to fall ill, be rushed to the hospital and die by that afternoon of an aneurism.

our beautiful nephew was killed in a car wreck leaving behind a wife and two little kids.

a close friend hurt me so bad that our friendship never recovered.

a family member betrayed and cheated us.

my dad suffered from Alzheimer's

 while we watched his personality and health decline in a very ugly way.

Ollie was born with a heart defect and needed Open Heart surgery.

We had two fires this Spring.

First the house and then a few months later,

a hay field, and a truck and trailer while hauling big hay bales.

Did I forget those stressful things?

No.

The honest truth is God made it bearable.

He never left us.

He gave us strength.

He carried us on the truly hardest days.

I cannot imagine how those trials would have affected us if we were not believers.

His promises kept us strong.

Oh sure,

we have questions.

We wonder why at times.

But, I know when I walk in Heaven's gates

 those questions we will have obvious answers.

Our God has a plan.

His plan is always, always the best.

I have witnessed it time and time again.

I admit there are times I tried to do it myself,

only to realize I needed to give to God.

I'm far from being perfect.

I am the one who lays it down but then picks it back up.

Over the  years, I have learned that taking it back does not work.

I need the Lord and

his wisdom, his guidance, and his strength.

I don't want to live in this world without him.

The truth is our blessings

during/after those hard times

far, far outweighed the strife.

Our most precious blessing being the gift of his unfailing love.

With Jesus, life is good

even when it's not because,

God is good all the time.

He really, really is.

 

 

 

 

 

 



Easter ...a repost

Happy Easter to everyone. 
I am so thankful
that God sent his Son to save me.
I am so thankful that his grace is greater
than my sin. 
May you know the peace of having Jesus
as your personal Savior.

(I am re-posting this from last year.)


As Easter approaches

the mother in me 

cannot stop thinking

about Mary, the mother of Jesus.

How must she have felt

to see her oldest son falsely accused,

to see him beaten until his flesh tore,

to hear the howlings of the crowd calling to crucify him,

to see the love of her heart nailed to a cross, 

 to watch as his tortured body hung on that cross

while the crowd mocked him,

to watch his breathing get harder, 

to see him gasp for air,

to watch him die, 

and even worse

to see his heart, with all it's love, be broken?

I cannot fathom how she must have felt.

But I know she understood.

She knew his death meant life,

life of the spirit.

And that the living spirit is love.

She rejoiced at his resurrection.

She welcomed the Holy Spirit 

after his Ascension into Heaven.

She knew that he had entered his kingdom.

His kingdom isn't about pageantry

but about total perfection.
It is not about greatness but his goodness.

He is the only king who can rule hearts 

and heal them with his own wounds.
She realized he would be reborn in the lives
of the lowly and the humble again and again.

Mary knew the truth.

She knew that that terrible day

was not an ending, but a wonderful beginning.

Under the shadow of his cross,

we can find love and a new life.

It is there for our taking.

All we need to do is ask.
Happy and Blessed Easter everyone!

For God sent not His Son into the world

to condemn the world; 

but that the world through Him might be saved.

John 3:17

My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me.
I give eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand.
John 10:27,28

Thank you

Thank you friends.

I cannot tell you how much your emails, texts,

phone calls, and cards have meant to me.

I am down and you are all lifting me up.

Life is really tough right now.

We have some rough waters 

in our days ahead with Dad.

I am blessed to have a loving, supportive family.

They are awesome teammates. 

One thing I know for sure,

is when I cry out I am not alone.

God hears my cries.

He doesn't forsake me.

I am richly blessed.

I have a warm, safe home,

a husband who loves me,

healthy children and plenty to eat. 

Most importantly,

I have a Savior who died for me...

One who loves me more than I will ever deserve.

Looking at all of that,

life is good.

Good can be hard.

But, hard is do-able

when I trust His promises.

I recognize his presence.

He guides me to peace and hope

in the middle of my crisis.

And he promises to bring me to Heaven

where all my troubles will end.

Victory is mine through Christ.

Bless you dear ones.

You certainly bless me.

xoxo

 

 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 

 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 

Romans 8: 35,37

 

 

Where Hope Is Found

I have said it before on this very blog...

some days I feel happy, some days sad

and most days I feel both.

I go back and forth, and back and forth

like a total wackadoo.

It is weird how in a 12 hour span,

oh heck... a one hour span... I am spilling sad tears

and then crying with laughter.

I feel mentally crazed.

I feel like a woman...

someone cue Shania.

I swear I am tired of my own dang self.

Today while driving,

I heard two songs back to back.

The first was Laura Story's Blessings

with the lyrics...

"When darkness seems to win

We know that pain reminds this heart

That this is not our home"

and then immediately after

I was singing along to the next

  Building 429's This Is Not Where I Belong 

that had the same message...

"All I know is I'm not home yet
This is not where I belong
Take this world and give me Jesus
This is not where I belong "

I know no dosage of Midol,

no amount of chocolate 

will calm my fears.

The truth is in His words.

My hope is in Him.

When it feels like life is falling apart,

I will cling to the truth that He keeps His word.

In Heaven, I will not grieve nor be discouraged.

All suffering will be gone.

I trust God will deliver me from my tough times

or help me through them for His glory.

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.

Hebrews 10:23

Thank you for all your prayers and kind emails.

It means so much. 

xoxo

A Stronghold in Times of Trouble

I read a blog tonight by Shannan.

She writes like I want to when I grow up.

She said some things that spoke to me.

I put on a brave face, a lot.

I fake it until I make it.

The truth is I am sad inside 

even when I am happy inside.

I know I sound crazy, but it is true.

 I miss my Dad's true personality.

I am selfish.

I miss my free time.

I miss time to do whatever I want

and not worry about what they are doing.

But they are my folks

and I am so blessed to have them.

I refuse to let the bad things 

that are happening

leave bad/sad memories.

 Instead I am committing to

storing up and treasuring all the good.

But when it is dark and the world is asleep,

the enemy lies to me.

He whispers things I don't want to believe

but sometimes do.

I wander the floors in my old house

and I ponder the what ifs.

Many nights I read inspirational blogs.

I watch TV, clean, do laundry, and sometimes cry.

But if I go to His word...

there I always find comfort.

I wish I could say that is my first choice of action

but many times I plod through the wee hours

spinning my wheels

before I finally seek Him.

The truth is hardships and distress

are the very essence of this decaying world.

I am not alone in troubles.

I don't want to be a whiner.

But I am sad

and I don't like it.

I want a quick fix and there isn't one.

I want to get over myself but I can't...

not on my own.

But when I sit in His presence,

He shines peace into my troubled heart.

He lifts me up from my circumstances

and He gives me hope.

He gives me perspective.

He gives me rest.

Knee time

This weekend I watched the Notebook.

It may not have been a good idea.
In hindsight it definitely wasn't.

I cried all through it.
I have cried every time I think of it.

My favorite line of the movie...

"your mother is my home."

Hello my reality.

Dad's dementia is hard to watch.

Mom's struggle with it is really difficult at times.
She has a hard time being independent. 
Assisted living is wonderful but most of the time
she would like one of us there every day, all day.
And that gets frustrating...
and then the guilt sets in.
A roller-coaster of emotions.

I re-read my archives about Mom and Dad.

In the last year many things have changed.

I cry thinking about how the next year

will most likely bring many more not so good changes.

I know I have so many blessings.

I know God continues to bless me daily.

I usually focus on the good things in life.

The majority of the time I am happy and content.

I know so many have it worse than I do.

I try to keep my eye on the positives

and my heart on God's promises.

And when I fail...

prayer works.

Every.single.time. 

but those who hope in the LORD
   will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
   they will run and not grow weary,
   they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40:31

Merry Christmas

We raise beef cattle.

Stuart has feeders and fats,

heifers, bulls, and cows.

One thing they all do is poop.

A lot.

That means lots of manure.

He scrapes the barns and then

he piles it up 

and spreads it on fields as fertilizer.

It does not smell good.

It actually smells quite awful.

Now imagine having your baby 

in one of these barns.

That is what Mary did.

She suffered the pain of childbirth

in a stinky stable.

Then she wrapped her brand new baby 

in rags.

That baby was a King

who humbled himself and

came to earth to save us.

He could have been born in a palace

but his simple birth

is a reminder to us.

He came in to that dirty, smelly place

as a gift to us.

He comes into the smelly, filthy parts of our life

and loves us. 

I can't fathom my life without my faith,

yet many times when troubles come

I try to do it on my own.

Then I call on him and he changes everything.

He gives me strength.

He fills my world with light and hope.

Jesus wants to be involved in our daily lives.

He wants to be involved in

where we go and what we do,

our simple, ordinary days.

I pray you know the presence of Jesus

who is the very reason for 

the Christmas season.

May you have joy and peace that only

Christ can give as we honor him 

on his birthday.

Merry Christmas everyone!

For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, 

who is Christ the Lord

Luke 2:11

Christmas Shame

Lest you be thinking 

I am all good and proper...

in case you think I have my act together...

I have a story 

I am telling before Abbie Jane does.
(She's been brewing on it.)

I am a work in progress.

I fall short daily, hourly, 

oh alright, constantly.

The tradition was 

we always went to my folks'  house

on Christmas eve.

On Christmas morning we would

open gifts with our girls.

There is 4.5 years total between our girls 

so they were all teens,

high school and college age together.
Yeah, that was easy.

Lots of hormones...

lots of mouthy mouths.

(Mine included.)

This particular year 

we came home from my folks'

and everyone was gabbing 

and moving about the house.

I suggested we open our gifts
right there and then

so we could sleep in

the next morning.

Wouldn't that be the berries?

They acted horrified.

You would have thought I 

dishonored Santa...

that I had dissed the baby Jesus.

They ridiculed/attacked me.

3 on 1 is my story's version.

I got ticked.
Super ticked. 
Okay, super duper ticked.

It is so unlike me to anger easily.

Uh, my blog, my story...duh.

Anyhoo,

they were relentless.

I was mad and I felt I was being "ganged up" on.

(Stuart was MIA.

He has learned over the years

when the hens start clucking bitching

get outta Dodge.)

My daughters started up the stairs to bed with

bells on their bobtails and laughing all the way. 

In my proudest mothering moment,

I yelled up the stairs at all 3 of my girls

"Merry F&%&$#@* Christmas!"

 They responded with hysterical laughter.

Nice.

I know.
I dishonored Santa.

I definitely dissed baby Jesus.

And they all cackled.

They haven't let me forget it yet.

I doubt they ever do.

Daughters, you need to let it go

because I have this...

 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,  and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.

Romans 3:23,24

So you ornery daughters...shuttie!

Take time

I love everything about Christmas.

I love the traditions,

the lights,

the decorations.

I adore the shopping...

the giving and the receiving.

I listen to the music even before 

it is acceptable to most.

 I love the family and friend time.

But, I want to remember 

what this season

is really about.

I encourage you to take time

during these hectic weeks 

to really remember.

Get in His word.

Draw close to the One who made it all possible 

with the gift of his son.

The son who was born in the manger and

died on the cross

so that we may have eternal life.

There is no better gift than

the gift of life that He gives.

For God so loved the world 
that he gave his one and only Son, 
that whoever believes in him shall not perish
but have eternal life. 
 John 3:16

Enjoy this holiday season
but take time to worship 
the One who loves you most.

My favorite Christmas song...

 

310. God's truths

311. music that makes me cry

312. quiet time with God

313. freedom to worship 

Black Friday Options

This year as everyone fights the crowds,

why not consider going a different route?

There are two organizations that are 
near and dear
to my family's heart.

My family, like most Americans

has much more than we need.

I encourage you to consider

doing something different this Christmas.

We love this plan around my house.

The first is the Angel Tree.

Names are available of children

who need Christmas provided for them

because their parents are
unable to do so.

You get a card with the child's name, age and sizes.

They list things he/she would like to receive
and the things the child needs.

You bag it, and return it unwrapped

to the location where you receive the names.

If you are local 

there is a tree at Maggie's salon,

Hair, m.d. 

on the square in Shelbyville.

Abbie has a tree in her chiropractic office, also.

Her office is located next to Dollar General in Pana.

The other gift idea my family participates in

is World Vision's gift giving program.

You can give a family in need

a gift that will change their life.

Giving a 5 ducks for $30,
a goat for $75,

or a goat and two chickens for $100.

There are many different choices available 

that multiply your gift such as,

$1100 worth of medicine for $100,

$250 worth of emergency food for  $50,

or $150 worth of necessities for a mere $25.

There are numerous ways

 to share the true spirit of Christmas

with a child in need.

I  hope you will consider one or both of these

this Christmas season.
And another bonus...no wrapping required!!

281. Christmas music
288. a Christmas mug
252. a day at home

hit them while they are down...

I have a friend who is 

 going through a very rough time right now.

You know the saying...

when it rains, it pours. 
She is living it.

I am a Beth Moore fan.

I have done many of her studies and 

I like to watch her on TV.

This very subject came up 

in her study this morning.

We know the enemy Satan has no conscience.

Why wouldn't he hit me with all

his guns when I am down and out?

He is sly and crafty and evil.

Why does God allow it?
Could it be that he still has something
for me?
I get satisfied with my relationship with him.
I get stagnant in my growth.
One thing about troubles,
they can bring me to my knees.
Hmm, where I should be anyway.
Strife brings me to an even deeper relationship 
with Jesus.
There is a whole world of relationship to be had with him.
Sometimes it takes problems to help me
become unsatisfied to where I am at
in my relationship with him.
God is anxious to lift me up 
out of the hurt, despair,
"the pit",
and authenticate my life.
God is insistent about one thing 
in his word in Hebrews 12: 26,27.
At that time his voice shook the earth, but now he has promised, “Once more I will shake not only the earth but also the heavens.” ²⁷ The words “once more” indicate the removing of what can be shaken—that is, created things—so that what cannot be shaken may remain. 

I am putting my confidence in Christ and

his unshakeable kingdom,

and not into the world which will crumble.

I ask that you lift my friend in prayer. 

And I pray that if you are hurting, 

if it is "pouring" trouble, 

that you sense his loving arms around you. 

I pray you hear his truth and feel his presence holding you in his shelter.

No not I

I have problems

just like everyone has problems.

Some little and some bigger.

My girls call with a problem or a question

and I always say...

"pray about it."

But, when it is my predicament

I sometimes try to fix the situation myself.

Why don't I practice what I preach every time?

Tonight I am remembering his promises.

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; 

and lean not unto thine own understanding.

In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

                                                                                Proverbs 3:5,6

I know God is good and prayer works.

So tonight, little or big...

 I am giving it to God.

His will be done.

219. my bible study girls

253. a time to be silly

278. God is on the throne

Truth

It is a tough week this week.

Mom and Dad are moving on Thursday

into the assisted living facility.

Dad has had a rough week.

Weather changes mess with him.

Seriously, moon changes do too.

He has a big change coming

and frankly,

I am a bit anxious about it.

Mom is excited but 

I know she has some apprehension 

about how well Dad will adjust.

Not to mention that she is leaving the home

she has cared for and loved for many years.

Then we had upsetting family news.

My aunt died this weekend.

One of Dad's younger brothers, Jimmy's wife.

My Aunt Charlotte.

It is sad.

She battled cancer and fought hard.

We are sad.

This is the third loved one I have lost 

in the last month.

My best friend from HS and college roommate

lost her dad.

My neighbor/friend lost her fight with cancer.

Sometimes life stinks.

But the truth of life is 

that there are wonders all around us.

Many things to be thankful for.

God has blessed me with 

so many special gifts to be grateful for.

The truth of God's love is 

not that he allows bad things to happen

but, rather that when they do happen

he is right here beside us.

No matter how ugly things get,

he is walking beside us.

Never changing, always loving us.

And for that I am the most grateful.

3. hot coffee and the Today show

92. warm laundry

178. quiet afternoons

258. that prayer works

 

Step up and step out.

 

 

 My children, our love should not be just words and talk; it must be true love, which shows itself in action.

                                                                  John 3:18

 

I love this scripture.

I love it because it reminds us what

our daily lives should look like.

Not just at Christmastime.

Not just on a mission trip.

There are hungry, hurting souls right here,

right among us.

Lives that need fed. 

 Fed with love.

Love like God possesses.

Look around.

There is suffering and sorrow to be found.

We need to leave our comfort zones.

Not necessarily leave our physical zones but

  our emotional comfort zones.

We need to put ourselves out there. 

It doesn't take special skills

or oodles of dollars.

It takes a heart like Jesus and action.

So take a gander at those amongst us,

ask yourself "What would Jesus do"??

and then step out and do it.

Just do it.

189. my dad's laugh

166. the smell of lemons

16. a good flashlite

60. a campfire

 

 

intentional

This morning I made an observation.

One where I was disappointed in myself.

How many times a day do I choose the wrong one?

More than I care to say, I pick the top item. 

Or the pink one.

Not to mention the laptop.

I am going to make a concerted effort

to pick the best option more frequently.

I leave them out for just that reason 

and yet I seem to fail. 

I have so much to be grateful about

that I pray all day long.

I praise God, I ask for his help, and

I listen to The Message in my car.

But, I need to be in his word.

Busyness is no excuse 

because I have time for all the other options.

I am doing a change-up.

Starting now.

Penelope has arrived.

Our newest baby girl 

showed up for her party at 6:30 this evening.

 

 

She weighed in at a fighting weight 

of  9 lbs. 1 oz.

Her name is Penelope Jane.

She is perfection.

She didn't get her bath while we were there

but I think she looks like a redhead.

Her daddy's brother, her mama and me 

are redheads

so our odds are good.

 

 

I left the new camera with the kids

so I am posting just a few pictures from facebook.

I am going back tomorrow 

to smell her more and more.

I love that fresh from the oven baby scent.

I am planning on kissing her more too.

Tonight was a timed love fest.

Abbie and Tiffany, the aunts 

had stop watches on our times.

Everybody got to handle her a bit

and then we were ushered out

by the Baby Nazi

aka the grumpy floor nurse.

Maggie's best friend's little sister

was Mag's nurse

but there was another crab

who gave us grief about our waiting room crowd.

She was unfriendly in general.

I think she has recently given up cake.

Just a theory...

Thank you for all your prayers.

We are so blessed.

My heart is so full of gratitude.

God is good.

Blessed be his name.

¹ You, God, are my God,
   earnestly I seek you;
I thirst for you,
   my whole being longs for you,
in a dry and parched land
   where there is no water.

 ² I have seen you in the sanctuary
   and beheld your power and your glory.
³ Because your love is better than life,
   my lips will glorify you.
⁴ I will praise you as long as I live,
   and in your name I will lift up my hands.
⁵ I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods;
   with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

 ⁶ On my bed I remember you;
   I think of you through the watches of the night.
⁷ Because you are my help,
   I sing in the shadow of your wings.
⁸ I cling to you;
   your right hand upholds me. 

Psalm 63: 1-8

 

Standing on His promises

Yesterday Caroline and I visited my folks.

 Linda and her grandson, Jonah were there.

Her husband David mowed the yard.

We went to lunch and we tried to give Mom

a much-needed boost.

Dad is failing.

The effects of Alzheimer's is ever present. 

He knows us, mostly.

But it is starting to get harder.

It is in my Mom's face.

The weariness, the sadness, the worry

it is all there.

As his main care-giver

she has a heavy load.

He is 92. She is 87.

They have had a long happy, full life.

We are blessed.

Hard decisions are in our future.

Although it is a tough path we are all taking

 we are taking it together.

We have much to be grateful for and 

we are keeping our our eye on His promises.

We will be restored and healed

when we all walk through Heaven's doors.

Once again, Dad will have his old sparkle back.

His witty teasing will be in tip-top form again.

We will rejoice and sing.

Oh Happy Day.

Until then,

we wait, we watch, we pray and we trust.

Keep us all in your prayers.

We know he hears our cries.

We have seen what He can do.