Monday, December 19, 2011

Christmas Shame

Lest you be thinking 
I am all good and proper...
in case you think I have my act together...
I have a story 
I am telling before Abbie Jane does.
(She's been brewing on it.)
I am a work in progress.
I fall short daily, hourly, 
oh alright, constantly.
The tradition was 
we always went to my folks'  house
on Christmas eve.
On Christmas morning we would
open gifts with our girls.
There is 4.5 years total between our girls 
so they were all teens,
high school and college age together.
Yeah, that was easy.
Lots of hormones...
lots of mouthy mouths.
(Mine included.)
This particular year 
we came home from my folks'
and everyone was gabbing 
and moving about the house.
I suggested we open our gifts
right there and then
so we could sleep in
the next morning.
Wouldn't that be the berries?
They acted horrified.
You would have thought I 
dishonored Santa...
that I had dissed the baby Jesus.
They ridiculed/attacked me.
3 on 1 is my story's version.
I got ticked.
Super ticked. 
Okay, super duper ticked.
It is so unlike me to anger easily.
Uh, my blog, my story...duh.
they were relentless.
I was mad and I felt I was being "ganged up" on.
(Stuart was MIA.
He has learned over the years
when the hens start clucking bitching
get outta Dodge.)
My daughters started up the stairs to bed with
bells on their bobtails and laughing all the way. 
In my proudest mothering moment,
I yelled up the stairs at all 3 of my girls
"Merry F&%&$#@* Christmas!"
 They responded with hysterical laughter.
I know.
I dishonored Santa.
I definitely dissed baby Jesus.
And they all cackled.
They haven't let me forget it yet.
I doubt they ever do.
Daughters, you need to let it go
because I have this...

 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,  and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.
Romans 3:23,24

So you ornery daughters...shuttie!


  1. oh you DO know what kind of text message you shall be getting on Christmas morning, now dontcha?

    So let it be written, so let it be done.

  2. I love this story. I'm also sorry your girls ruined Christmas :). I just wish we would have known each other then cuz we totally could've replaced every wonderful gift with something total crap and shined it up, wrapped it up all nice and tight and ruined their Christmas the next morning bc 1.we at stupid and they deserved it 2. We would've been up and had nothing better to do and 3. It's probably what Jesus would do....I kid. About Jesus doing it the rest is totally spot on!

  3. there are some inaccuracies here...first it was Abbie, Maggie, and Dad you shouted it at...i for some reason was the fool stuck downstairs after said event and got the aftermath rant. And who sleeps in on Christmas when there are presents to open it's ri.donk.u.lous...sorry Mom traditions tradition.

  4. Sorry, Coop Keeper....I do believe I beat ya to the punch!

  5. As a survivor of a teenage daughter I applaud you! I don't recall the specifics but I'm pretty sure I said the same thing at some point. I do know for a fact I said something similiar at Disney World when I tried to have one last family vacation before she grew up. Mickey's ears are probably still burning. The girl? She grew up and I totally like her now.

  6. christmas would have been ruined. ruined i say. thank goodness we can pick our low points and then remember them forever. case in point, jade running over stella and prompting the leg anniversary song, which remains tradition. it is what it is ma. merry f'in christmas. i super love you.

  7. the details of this story is all a blur, i have been forever scarred from my mother's hateful words. p.s. i thought this was the same time dad fell off and/or down on the front porch in his slippers. haha tell that story mom.

  8. Needed this. Have received several texts/rants from different saintly momma friends dropping the f bomb last few days. I may have returned the favor... We try. We pray. We fail. Good thing HE forgives (families too)! My new Christmas reply to my exhausted mommy friends is "chin up buttercup!" Love ya bunches. Pray for ME!

  9. can't stop laughing. and i'm so annie in this story...totally would have been trapped downstairs with the crazy lady. outstanding.

  10. Stuart sounds like a pretty smart man! I'm outnumbered here 4-1, but I do have a couple of female furbabies!
    I love this story! What a holiday without a little cussing? :D


Thanks for reading my blather. I read every comment. They make my heart happy!