Knee time

This weekend I watched the Notebook.

It may not have been a good idea.
In hindsight it definitely wasn't.

I cried all through it.
I have cried every time I think of it.

My favorite line of the movie...

"your mother is my home."

Hello my reality.

Dad's dementia is hard to watch.

Mom's struggle with it is really difficult at times.
She has a hard time being independent. 
Assisted living is wonderful but most of the time
she would like one of us there every day, all day.
And that gets frustrating...
and then the guilt sets in.
A roller-coaster of emotions.

I re-read my archives about Mom and Dad.

In the last year many things have changed.

I cry thinking about how the next year

will most likely bring many more not so good changes.

I know I have so many blessings.

I know God continues to bless me daily.

I usually focus on the good things in life.

The majority of the time I am happy and content.

I know so many have it worse than I do.

I try to keep my eye on the positives

and my heart on God's promises.

And when I fail...

prayer works.

Every.single.time. 

but those who hope in the LORD
   will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
   they will run and not grow weary,
   they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40:31