Thursday, June 30, 2011


I have tickets to the Little Theater.
It is a small theater but it was 
originated by a man with the name Little.
That is all the history I know.
It is in a nearby town about 20 min away.
There are 5 summer shows.
I have missed the first 2 b/c of my bible study
but now our schedule is changed so I can go to both.
We go to dinner and then attend the show.
Last night was Oklahoma.
The show was good, the company better.
I have changed the names to protect the innocent guilty.
The group I go with is very funny and crazy.
I attend with the notorious Ruby,
La Theresa ( who is normally the crazy one), 
La Dot,
and Ruby's sister, L'Audrey.
We  had dinner at a local restaurant
hit a little shop, then attended the show.
After the show we loaded up for the trek home.
After we are all settled in the car,
La Theresa informs us there has been a wardrobe change
in the course of the evening.
"What"? we ask.
Well, it seems La Dot was suffering some discomfort
in her nether region.
Panties in a wad or something to that nature.
Being the resourceful gal she is
she decided to remove them and go bareback.
Soaking up culture commando-style.
We were incredulous.
We were in hysterics.
We said "what did you do with them?"
She said "I put them in my purse."
L'Audrey said "Well how big is your purse?"
I died. 
Seriously, I lost it.
In L'Audrey's (and La Dot's) defense,
La Theresa carries a teeny weeny purse.
L'Audrey was envisioning that.
We asked all the details.
"When did you do this?"
"where were you?"
"in the darkened theater?"
"or in the bathroom?"
We decided we would get her a special bag.
It would be designer-like.
It would have a DUP emblem.
You know for (La) Dot's Underpants Purse.
We asked "why didn't you just throw them away?"
Her answer "they are my good underpants."
Yeah, real good.
I 've been wanting some new, good underpants.
I wished I had asked where she shops.
What's d.u.p. with that?

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

A Good Man

I believe with all my heart that my husband
was meant to be mine.
I believe that our life reflects God's love every day.
He is who God intended for me.
Stuart is kind, generous, loving,
really funny and cute as heck.
He puts me second, right after God. 
He tell our kids
I love your mom more than you.
He thinks it fun to tease them
but he means it too.
He likes to get them in an uproar.
Stuart is a man of integrity.
He has a high standard of honesty.
His decency and honor is never breached.
When he says something he means it.
He calls a spade a spade.
Or as he puts it...
that's how the hog ate the cabbage.
You know where he stands.
He won't talk out both sides of his mouth,
no matter how unpopular that attitude
sometimes makes him.
His word is his word, 
even if it can cause him ( or me) discomfort.
He walks in truth.
His honesty is dependable,
even if it means walking away from a relationship.
If that person is dishonest, or wrong-doing,
he will take a stand.
Sibling or best friend it doesn't matter,
wrong -doing is wrong-doing.
Untruth is untruth.
The cost is sometimes high. 
You are the ones who justify yourselves in the eyes of men,
but God knows your heart.
What is highly regarded among men
is detestable in God's sight.
Luke 16:15
The bible tells us
"The righteous man walks in integrity;
his children are blessed after him."
Proverbs 20:7 

Stuart has been that example to our girls
and now that they are grown, they recognize it.
His sons-in-law come for advice.
He is a man who has nieces and nephews 
call his opinions.
They call him on Father's Day.
It isn't because 
they don't have dads that they love and respect,
it is because they love and respect their uncle too.
They trust his wisdom. 
He tells them the truth and what is right.
I am blessed by his strength.
I pray for him because I know that his right choice
doesn't always get a positive reaction.
He chooses to be this kind of man.
I am thankful for this kind of man
to be my husband.
He makes me a better person.
I have a hard time some of the time
telling the hard facts
to someone who doesn't want to hear it.
But sugar coating something that is wrong
is not what God wants me to do.
I am called to stand by my morals
and have the strength to live the truth
even when it makes me (and others) uncomfortable.
I have come a long way.
Prayer helps me fight Satan's traps
that keep me from sharing my principles.

Pray for us. We are sure that we have a clear conscience
and desire to live honorably in every way.  
I particularly urge you to pray
so that I may be restored to you soon.
Hebrew 13:18,19

Today is Stuart's birthday.
I thank God for him with all my soul
and I love him with all my heart.
If you see him out and about 
give him a big ol' holler.
He's one of the good ones. 
But, don't tell him I said he is funny.
I finally have him convinced I am the funny one ;)

Tuesday, June 28, 2011


Just in case you think I exaggerated about 
Jackie and my childhood hair-do's
when I said we had 2 kinds ...
pixie with uneven bangs
or bad Toni home perms.
Actually, the un-even bangs 
were pretty much a staple
in both looks.

Jealous much?

Monday, June 27, 2011


I conducted an interview earlier this year with a known celebrity here
As of late, there have been rampant rumors regarding Reta.
I met up with her this week to get her perspective on the issues at hand.
She arrived with a posse and was looking as beautiful as ever with no make-up and her hair natural and un-styled.

Good Morning Reta. Thank you for coming.
I see Stella accompanied you here today.

How do you respond to the rumors that you two are estranged?

Pictures have been published of you two looking very much a non-couple. Are these pictures accurate?

Is it a fact that Stella is suffering from depression?

Would you like to reassure Stella that the rumors of a relationship with someone else are unfounded and totally untrue?

It appears you two have some issues. There are allegations you are seeing someone else. Is this third party the male that was in your posse today?

If you don't want to explain these accusations then what do you have to say about this photo?

My assistant tells me she distinctly heard him whispering to you.
She says he called you "My Lovely Lady Lumps".
How can you explain that?

After his encounter with you, I think the reaction of your friend Harley, speaks volumes.

How do you explain that photo?
Do you have any justification for his actions? 

By your evasive response, I fear you leave our readers with
even more questions about your relationship's status with Stella.
I thank you for your time.
I bid you farewell.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

chillin' with the chillens

Fridays in the hood means
more Caroline time.
I usually hang with the other 3 too.
There was a tea party.
There was some Squinky and some Pet Shop play.
We had a picnic.
We hung out on their porch.

We did a Care Bear movie and 
all 3 bigs crashed.
I got to rock Miss O. to sleep.
She is doing super.

Her "medal of strength" is healing nicely.

Little girl is finally getting her chub on.

This girl has had her chub on for a while.

 Baby got back.
She gets it honest  :)

Friday, June 24, 2011

Standing on His promises

Yesterday Caroline and I visited my folks.
 Linda and her grandson, Jonah were there.
Her husband David mowed the yard.
We went to lunch and we tried to give Mom
a much-needed boost.
Dad is failing.
The effects of Alzheimer's is ever present. 
He knows us, mostly.
But it is starting to get harder.
It is in my Mom's face.
The weariness, the sadness, the worry
it is all there.
As his main care-giver
she has a heavy load.
He is 92. She is 87.
They have had a long happy, full life.
We are blessed.
Hard decisions are in our future.
Although it is a tough path we are all taking
 we are taking it together.
We have much to be grateful for and 
we are keeping our our eye on His promises.
We will be restored and healed
when we all walk through Heaven's doors.
Once again, Dad will have his old sparkle back.
His witty teasing will be in tip-top form again.
We will rejoice and sing.
Oh Happy Day.
Until then,
we wait, we watch, we pray and we trust.
Keep us all in your prayers.
We know he hears our cries.
We have seen what He can do.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Chair warfare

Tonight I spent some time with my twin sis, Jackie 
and one of my older sisters, Linda.
Jackie is getting rid of a chair.
It is a chair I have loved from afar.
I. pine. for. it.
Truly it is a chair love affair.
Linda has threatened to take it.
She has tormented me that she will own it.
I am on the offense.
I WILL get the chair.
We belong together.
Besides, I have ammunition.
Many weapons stories.
Jackie and I used to sport terrible hairdos.
We had two looks.
Pixie cut with uneven bangs (thank you cowlicks)
or bad Toni home perms.
We wanted long, flowing locks.
We would wear our pajama pants on our heads 
and pretend the pant legs were our hair.
We would flip them all around.
It was entertaining...
dancing and flipping hair.
These were the days before Atari.
Atari was before Nintendo.
We are ancient.
We were cool and imaginative.
Or we were just weird.
When we were in high school
a hypnotist came for an assembly.
Jackie was chosen to be hypnotized.
When he said a certain chosen word
she left her seat,
took the stage
and started singing
"I Got You Babe".
At the time she had a short haircut but 
she swung her head around
like she had 3 ft. of hair.
It was crazy.
I wanted to throw her 
a pair of pajama pants.
That would have stolen the show.
So Jackie...I got you babe.
Walk away from the chair
and no one gets hurt. 

Tuesday, June 21, 2011


And this is why when they ask Caroline
"who's your best friend?"
she answers "Grandma Janie"
Ask and you shall receive.
It is how I roll!

Monday, June 20, 2011

What I Know For Sure - 11th Edition

1. Love is grand when you have someone to give it to.

2. I am not a women's libber but I have a couple of bras that need burned.

3. God loves me so I need to live like I believe it.

4. I can do hard things.

5. When you are down to nothing, God is up to something.

6. Whatever your hand finds to do is worth doing with all your might.

7. I need a recess daily.

8. Outside a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside a dog, it is too dark to read.

9. Beauty is whatever gives you joy.

10. If you are what you craft, I am a poorly constructed pillow.

11. You cannot hide from yourself or God.

12. I am more of a forest girl than a beach girl.

13. Things seen are mightier than things heard.

14. Alzheimer's should be a four letter word.

15. Do what you can where you are with what you have.

16. Kindness matters.

17. There are 3 sides to every story. Their story, your story and the real story.

18.  April showers bring May flowers. 
June thunderstorms bring weeds, no electricity, and a trembling pooch.

19. If you want to be loved, be loveable.

20. When someone tells you "my grandchild was born with your hair color and their dad just hates it" they are being rude.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Dream On

I am a little troubled.
I don't usually remember dreams
but last night's is haunting me a bit. 
This face in particular.

Steven Tyler wanted to marry me.
I tried to tell him
I am a happily married woman
to no avail.
He was hot for me.
Hotter than a $2.00 pistol.
What in the world?
I loved him on Idol but
I have never been attracted to the man.
I believe I have even said on this very blog
"Steven Tyler looks like an old woman".
An old woman with a soul patch but
an old woman none the less.
I am not a huge Aerosmith fan either.
The crazy thing is I woke
and then went back to sleep and 
there he was again,
still in hot pursuit of me.
Does anyone de-code dreams?
 Maybe I want his hair, his hair feathers,
or maybe his music royalties.
Most likely I want his skinny arms.
Now I have Dream On stuck in my head.
I may never sleep again.
Here's Dream On 
so you can have it stuck in your head too.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Beastly fun(fetti)

I have spent the last two days with 
Miss Caroline.
Today I had Annie's two kids
while Ollie went back for a check-up.
She is great.
She doesn't go back for two months 
and is getting off her meds.
She has gained 7 oz.
Amazing what getting your ticker fixed can do.
After 3000 viewings
I have this almost memorized.

 But I cannot refuse this:

Totally enraptured.

We played outside this morning.

I love baby legs.

Everett found a frog on the trampoline.
Aubrie was all over that.
She is a mini animal encyclopedia.
She busted out the bucket. 
Obviously, the bucket was suited to the size of the frog.

She chose the dress and the silver sandals.
She didn't think it was necessary to comb her hair 
until after lunch.
Hair combing would have been over-kill. 
After lunch it rained.
Naturally, we went looking for worms.
I am cool like that.

Aubrie abandoned the silver shoes for snow boots.

Everett tormented loved on the kitty.

Oh and my stalker was there today.
On the counter coyly calling my name.
Mr. Funfetti sheet cake.
It is called Funfetti for a reason.
It is fun.
I resisted.
No fun (fetti) for Miss funfatti.
In my defense, I don't think I am the only one
who has been eating too much cake.

I reckon we need a bigger pillow. 
Or less cake.