Sunday, July 31, 2011

Lucy and Ethel...aka Jackie and Janie

This weekend I helped move my idiot/D.A. name-calling sister.
You know.  the one who calls me those names.
We  had professional movers for the first time ever.
We have always moved everyone with a cattle trailer and oour family men.
This time we were happy to have just boxes to move and just 
have to re-arrange furniture a tad.
Our sister, Linda  and her husband David were there to help.
Mom and Dad came to unwrap dishes and go to lunch.
We kick butt when we move each other.
We unpack it all.
The place looks great.
The front porch is decorated and the patio is set up too.
The garage is organized and finished. Boxes are ready for the garbage.
The appliances come Monday.
She has to get food after that and then she is done.
The house could have magazine photos taken.
(Although, I could not take pictures because my camera situation is not resolved )
After these last 2 days I want to share a few pointers of what NOT to do.

  •  Decide at  9:30 p.m. to finally go get some dinner, then pick a joint that takes a full hour to get you served.


  •  Visit Wal-Mart at 10:30 for a cartload of supplies and for pajamas, yoga pants, and tee for the next day's work because you have decided to spend the night. Completely miss all signs touting "These doors are closed at ten" and just pry open the doors to Walmart with your hands.

  •  Decide you will just organize a bit in the garage around midnight and let that bit turn into a full blown obsession.

  • Lock you and your helper-sister in the garage. Panic. Drop a few choice words. Eventually open the garage door and try the front door that you insist she locked. Rejoice when it is unlocked.


  • Set off your car alarm at 2 a. m. in your brand new neighborhood. Struggle for way too long to disable the alarm.


  •  Wait to decide to quit and shower when your feet have become bloody stubs and it is 3:10 a.m. 


  •  Sit and straddle the new hose reel when hooking up the new hose. Remain sitting and straddling the reel when you test for leaks. Spraying water is a good sign of a leak but soaking your crotch with icy water is a definite sign there is a leak.


  • When the only appliance you have is a deep freeze, do make frozen fruit into smoothies for lunch. However, don't try to push down fruit with a wooden spoon while the blender is running. That adds the wrong kind of fiber and leads name-callers to consider drinking it anyway. Strongly discourage that with scary tales of surgeries you have heard.

 I am good at moving. I am fast. I am an organizing freak and a decorating nut. I am not for hire. But, I do help for smoothies and toast.
P.S. You may need increase your home owner's insurance. Just sayin'.
 





6 comments:

  1. oh. you are the funniest! I'm sure those fruit and wood smoothies were culinary genius. :)

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  2. Okay, so you are saying that for toast and a smoothie you will help us move from Florida to Calif next summer? You get to ride with ME girl! Between you and Annie, I've got my smiles for the night! Ann

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  3. you are just crazy, that is all there is to it...I think that is why I like you so much!!

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  4. The smoothie thing made me laugh.... really loud.... out loud. My teenager is now awake.

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  5. Having professional movers is the only way...I say from experience...after moving in cattle trailers. Besides, having professionals leaves for time for the fun extra excitement you mentioned!

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  6. Oh hello. This is funny and seriously the smoothie thing is so hilarious! I can sense that you really have the knack in moving and doing smoothies huh?! Have a great week!

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Thanks for reading my blather. I read every comment. They make my heart happy!