A peeve and a plan

My great niece is getting married Thursday evening 

at the Conservatory in St. Louis.

I am so excited.

She is like a daughter to me. 

She spent countless hours at our house
 when she was little

and her daddy feels like he is mine too.

Adore is too little of a word 

for the way I love them.

But the point of this story

is my pedicure in preparation

for the big event.
A new nail place has opened up in our town.

Hip hip hooray.

Everyone who likes a pedi

is donning party hats

and riding ponies.

Well, I know I would if I could.

I visited it this afternoon.

The place is nice,

the chairs are awesome.

My best sister-in-law and favorite goof,

who makes me cackle showed up.

I was delighted.

I hadn't seen her in months.

No, I haven't seen anyone in months.

Just before I went to the nail place

I ran to Wal mart to get a gift card.

I saw some dear friends in the store

and had to hug them and gab.

I was there an hour.

AN hour!
Man, I miss my friends.

However, I am off my subject

the pedicure...

It was nice and my toes look great.

I even had my nails painted.

But I have one pet peeve.

The salon workers spoke

Vietnamese the whole time.

Please people, I am insecure.

Why are you making fun of my little toes

in a language I cannot understand?

I have been insulted in English before

concerning my hooves.

Please let me privy to your mockery.

I don't like your secret language.

My imagination runs amok

on topics I think you are discussing about me.

How is a woman supposed to relax

in a vibrating chair 
that shakes every amount 
of loose flesh she has

 like it is a jello mold

with the suspicion that she is possibly 
being ridiculed

 for just that? 

I object right here and now.

I wish I would have talked to my sis-in-law

in Pig Latin and

 gave then a taste of their own medicine.
Extnay imetay Iay illway!
Boom.

What I Know For Sure- 21st Edition

1. Cooking the Coopkeeper's turkey sausage in the morning is a great idea.

Showering in the morning is a great idea also.

Doing them simultaneously is a mistake.

2. Crying at your gyno appt. may make you seem a bit "unsettled".

She may write you a script that you throw in the trash 15 minutes later.

3. On days I cannot walk, God carries me. Sometimes he carries me out of the gyno office.

4.  My pajama jeans are too big. I think Stuart applauded their dismissal. 

5. I am still laughing over something I heard on 30 Rock weeks ago..."Oh don't be so dramatic.That's my thing and if you take it away I will kill myself and then you." Jenna Maroney

And one from Modern Family... "she's like a dream wrapped in a wish poured into jeggings." Manny Delgado

6. I have broccoli breath.

7. A card in the mail from someone who loves you feels like a hug.

8. I love what my coach says...usually an excuse is a reason stuffed with a lie.

9. My flower beds are a mess. I have Creeping Charlie in most. I have another winter annual from the fields running rampant. Stu says it is hen bit. I call it Bleeping Charlie.  

10. My daughter Abbie is quite funny. I have evidence to back that statement up.

11. Feed a dog too much fat scraps and shit happens. Literally.

12. I am gearing up to get my Oompa loompa on.  Fake tan towels are at the ready.

13.  I am taking interviews for garden help. All applicants will be accepted. Word to the wise... the pay is crap.

14. My birthday is coming up in a few weeks. I am planning a give-away. And relax, it will not be a chance to garden with me.

15.  I miss blogging and I have lost my funny. If you find it please forward to me at: 

Boring and Old 

P.O. Box Lame as Heck

16. I ran over a shovel today with the mower. It sounded like a drive-by shooting. Janie's got a gun, er mower.

17. I am such an asset on the farm. Well, part of that word is correct.

18. Dad is coming home to the Alzheimer's unit tomorrow. I will be glad to kiss the 2 hour hospital drive good-bye. I count every day with him as a blessing.

19. We have had our air on for two weeks. My allergies require it.

And my "I hate to be hot" attitude does too.

20. I have to attend my date with Don Draper. Usually, I detest a cheating cad with a drink in his hand...but this one is an exception to my rule.

P.S.  If you are still reading my blog, thanks for sticking with me through this time where I am absent much of the time in reading and commenting on yours. I miss you. I truly do. But my name is Janie and I have bootcamp homework and I am a TV head.

update and a confession

First things first...

Dad is better.
Sunday we learned he had pneumonia.

He wasn't taking the oral meds and

an IV was not in the cards b/c 

it would require sedation for him to keep it in.

But he started taking the pills.

His oxygen levels are good.

The dementia drugs they have changed

are starting to bring some improvement.

He gets very agitated when it comes to personal care.

Otherwise, he is pretty easy.

He is still confused and hallucinates

but calm.

That is the disease.

He may see cattle and hogs,

but he is compliant and content...

Until he needs help with his hygiene.

This is improving though.

He let a podiatrist cut his toenails.

That was huge.

He is still in the Behavioral unit

and probably will be for another week.

 So for now, things are going okay.

 

 

 Now the confession...

I am in bootcamp, as you know.

There is a weekly phone call conference

where we take notes.

There is reading,

and an online lecture too.

Then we have a quiz once a week.

The confession is I have gotten stupid.

The old adage 

"use it or lose it is true."

I read, well I did when I had time.

Now I read fitness stuff.

I was a good student.

I got good grades with little effort.

I took notes, reviewed them,

and took tests with great results.

Now, I am a nervous wreck 

when I am taking the test.

My knees shake.

So far I have gotten 95's and 100's

so I am learning the material...

but the ease I used to feel is gone.

I want a book like

Bootcamp for Dummies.

When did this happen?

Spelling used to be common sense to me.

Now, I cannot spell 

definite or niece ever! 

Ever...thankfully there is spell check. 

I have the vocabulary of a 3rd grader.

I remember absolutely nothing about grammar rules.

Is lack of estrogen to blame?

Maybe it is 30 Rock and Parks and Recreation

that is to blame?

I don't know,

but I do know I need to keep reading

and using my cortex.

Soon I hope to be all scholarly and intellectual.

 Get prepared...

you are going to need a thesaurus

 and a dictionary

just to read my blog.

Nah, I doubt it.

To quote on of my faves...Popeye

"I yam what I yam!"

Stupid in a good way...

that's a title I like.

 

 

Btw I am down 18 lbs, Can I get a "Hells yeah"?

 

 

Birthday Girl

Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:

Proverbs 31:28

Happy 88th birthday Mom!
I love you!

For those of you have sent cards to Mom. It has blessed her so much.

 Thank you from the bottom of my heart !! :)

How does that look?

If you are like me you have said

more than once...

Do these pants make me look fat?

But I don't think I have ever said

Does this chair make me look fat?

Luckily for "Goldilocks"

Grandma's chair collecting pays off.

I wish I could rock a pair of striped pants that well!!

For those of you that wanted to send my mom a card:

email me and I will send you her address.

update on Dad

I have not answered emails.

I have so many of you I want to respond to 

but I just haven't had the time.

I appreciated every one.

I printed off all your comments and took them to Mom.

They brought her so much comfort.

We can truly feel your prayers.

The transition has not gone well.

Dad is combative and aggressive.

He is not eating.

After these last hard, hard days

the decision was made to transfer him

to St. Mary's late this afternoon.

They have a senior behavioral clinic.

Psychiatric evaluations are done on geriatric patients.

They are experts at getting the medication right

for the individual patients.

It is something his Alzheimer's unit has done in the past 

with excellent results.

He really has declined since the transition last week.

It has been very difficult to see.

We all feel good about this new evaluation process.

The drugs that are prescribed 

with late stage dementia are not something

 a regular GP deals with daily.

These psychiatrists do.

They assure us they can get Dad

calm, content and eating.

Keep the prayers coming.

xoxo

 

Decisions

Yesterday was a really hard day.

Dad went into the Alzheimer's unit.

It is what is best for him. 

Putting all our emotions aside,

and getting him the proper care

was much more difficult 

than I imagined.

It literally took the full day to get it done.

We took him out and we sat with him through his supper.

He people-watched and seemed to fit in. 

We slipped out because we knew

 they wouldn't let us sleep there.

Although, I think my sister Linda

 and I were considering it.

I was pretty strong most of the day,

 then I got home

and could barely function.

I have been up and down all night.

I needed to talk to God.

I can hear him at night when it is still.

When I am still.

I have a real problem with still.

But, I think most of you know that.

The director at the Alz. unit is fabulous.

She texted us on and off.

She got him to shower,

something we had major problems doing.

She said he watched some TV

and said he told her it was time to go to bed.

When she was pulling the covers up,

he tweaked her on the nose.

He is doing okay.

He is finding joy.

Now we will too.

If he is happy,

we will all be happy.

I am going in to eat breakfast with my mom 

in a few hours.

She needs your prayers.

71 years is a long time to live together

and now he isn't with her.

But, he is still here.

We can go visit whenever we want.

We have a a new normal to learn.

We are blessed he has a great place to live 

and she does too. 

We can do this.

We can do all things 

through Christ

who gives us strength.

I wanted you to know what was going on.

I feel your love and prayers.

I will be back with my blog fodder soon.

I have some funny pics of my Wed.

with Caroline to share.

Have a great weekend.

Bless you all. 

Those who hope in the Lord
will renew there strength.
They will soar like eagles,
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint. 
Isaiah 40:31

Aubrie and Everett

Well, I am back again.

I am still hacking up my lungs.

I cannot kick this blasted, stooo-pid cough.

 But, life goes on.

No wawawa today.

Please, someone slap me

and call me Susan if I do.

Today, I vow and declare to tell

you a cute story.

A little incident with the grands.

I went to see them last night.

Best medicine evah. 

Aubrie starts telling me all about

a show she has seen.

She tells me "sometimes turtles lay their eggs in a 

crocodile's nest."

She says "when the baby turtles hatch,

the momma crocodile picks them up 

with soft jaws and carries them to the water.

But, there are lots of creatures who want to kill them,

and the momma crocodile "retects" them from

the "emenies". 

She says "there are hippos in the water with 

really strong jaws."

Everett chimes in ...

"Yeah, and they chomp the crocodiles in half!"

 I say "what in the world show are you guys watching?"

They say "Wild Kratts."

For those of you who don't know,

Wild Kratts is the 2 brothers Kratt

who tell about wild animals.

Then, they morph into cartoon characters

and go on a wildlife adventure. 

The berries of this story is 

that Everett calls it Wild Craps.

For Wild Craps Sake,

I think I may have just found a new catch phrase. 

Whatcha think?

 

Thank you

Thank you friends.

I cannot tell you how much your emails, texts,

phone calls, and cards have meant to me.

I am down and you are all lifting me up.

Life is really tough right now.

We have some rough waters 

in our days ahead with Dad.

I am blessed to have a loving, supportive family.

They are awesome teammates. 

One thing I know for sure,

is when I cry out I am not alone.

God hears my cries.

He doesn't forsake me.

I am richly blessed.

I have a warm, safe home,

a husband who loves me,

healthy children and plenty to eat. 

Most importantly,

I have a Savior who died for me...

One who loves me more than I will ever deserve.

Looking at all of that,

life is good.

Good can be hard.

But, hard is do-able

when I trust His promises.

I recognize his presence.

He guides me to peace and hope

in the middle of my crisis.

And he promises to bring me to Heaven

where all my troubles will end.

Victory is mine through Christ.

Bless you dear ones.

You certainly bless me.

xoxo

 

 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 

 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 

Romans 8: 35,37

 

 

A picture

I have lost the blogging mojo.

I cannot shake this cough.

I still feel like heck.

I can't sleep from the hacking.

I got new meds today.

Whooping cough is rampant in our burg.

I pray that is not my case.

Bootcamp is good,

but it is a lot of reading and logging.

My dad is not doing too well.

Life is harder every day.

Pray for us. 

I am sad and I am sick.

I just want to lay in the sun.

I hope to get back to my blathering 

but, for now I just don't have it in me.

Most my grands are sick with fevers.

I really, really cannot wait for Spring.

I want to dig in the dirt and 

fly kites with the littles.

I haven't read blogs or commented in so long.

I miss you and your stories.

I will be back.

I promise.

For today, I am sharing a picture

 my sister, Linda sent to me.

I adore it.

I think Jackie and I were about 2.

Jackie is brown like Dad.

I am the opalescent/translucent one.
I love this picture so much.
Now you know why I don't lay in the sun.
I am a woods girl,
because my skin demands it.
Count your blessings and 
have a great weekend friends!