Friends In Toe Places

Most weekends,

Jackie comes to visit the folks on Saturday.

She dates me and Stuart in the evening

and then spends the night.

This week we changed it up to

a girls night Friday night.

There is nothing like a fest with friends 

to make the day seem brighter.

 Jackie and I met up with

our fellow travelers/sister friends 

for an evening of 

"hoof beautery" and food.

We started with the pedicures

and waited to fill our gullets

with the thinking being that

the pedi place wouldn't be open late.

We weren't fazed 

when only 1 woman was working

at the nail joint.

She said "sign in and someone would be right with us."

I think she said that.

They had no idea what she said.

The interpreter that I am,

 understood the gibberish as being that.

She filled the chair foot tubs with tepid water 

and seated us in the frigid room

2 and 2 across from each other.

We rolled up our jeans.

I looked like Snow White

with the Three Amigos in tow.

Yeah, pun intended.

You're welcome.

One lone man emerged from the back.

Only one.

He started on Suellen.

The rest of us soaked and raised eyebrows.

Eventually the woman joined us.

She was the painter person

and he was the masseuse part of the team.

She said she was tired from manicures

and couldn't do the massage justice.

She said all the workers went home 

to Vietnam for the Chinese New Year.

They were short on help.

Thank you Mrs. Obvious.

Well, I think that is what she said.

She may have said 

"Oh, 4 more suckers."

Eventually, I had my turn

while she painted the toes of the other sisters.

Before he started, he re-started the sound system.

He motioned to me so that I understood

he was speaking about the music.

He asked me if I liked "E uh".

me: Who?

him: E uh

me: Umm, I don't know who that is.

him(incredulous): really?

me: yeah, no I don't know who that is.

He went on to comment how small my toenails were 

with the exception of the pinkie toe.

I think he said "ooh little" and 

while pointing to the pinkie toe "then this".

Nice, and why thank you sir.

He said I looked like Jackie.

I told him, we are twins.

I don't think he knew that term.

He moved to Jackie

while the woman painted my toes.

By now, Suelllen and Karyn have dried their toenails

and went into hypothermia.

He starts on Jackie.

He commented "ooh little toenails."

Um, yeah we get it.

Our father is Fred Flintstone.

I am now in hysterics but trying to hide it

while I take pictures with my phone.

Being an idiot like she is,

she remembers we are going for pedicures

and decides to "dry" shave her leg.

She didn't know better,

she has only been shaving her legs

for 40 years.

She had some full blown razor burn going on.

 

 Her toenails he noticed but the red, swollen skin...nope.

He is unaware of it 

and is scrubbing her shin with a true vigor.

I think she may have cried.

I cried with laughter.

He is blabbing to her.

She has no clue what he is saying.

I am pretty sure he said

"me love you long time".

We were all dry with our shoes on by the time 

the woman has made it to Jackie.

She was doing manicures

in between painting our toes

and in no hurry to get us finished.

Jackie got a bit of a oil on her toes

and a quick dry spray and then 

shoved her feet into 

the furry lining of her boots.

I was pretty sure

she would have fur stuck to her nails

when we got home.

1 1/2 hours later

we departed and got some dinner.

It was a blast.

I laughed so hard at her agony

during the pedicure

my endorphins are still raging.

Following dinner,

the girls dropped us off at my vehicle

and we headed to my house.

We pulled off our boots

and were pretty happy with the results.

Even if they would have been smeared it was

totally worth the cost, just for the laughter.

Gosh, I love that idiot Jackie.