Saturday, January 28, 2012

Friends In Toe Places

Most weekends,
Jackie comes to visit the folks on Saturday.
She dates me and Stuart in the evening
and then spends the night.
This week we changed it up to
a girls night Friday night.
There is nothing like a fest with friends 
to make the day seem brighter.
 Jackie and I met up with
for an evening of 
"hoof beautery" and food.
We started with the pedicures
and waited to fill our gullets
with the thinking being that
the pedi place wouldn't be open late.
We weren't fazed 
when only 1 woman was working
at the nail joint.
She said "sign in and someone would be right with us."
I think she said that.
They had no idea what she said.
The interpreter that I am,
 understood the gibberish as being that.
She filled the chair foot tubs with tepid water 
and seated us in the frigid room
2 and 2 across from each other.
We rolled up our jeans.
I looked like Snow White
with the Three Amigos in tow.
Yeah, pun intended.
You're welcome.
One lone man emerged from the back.
Only one.
He started on Suellen.
The rest of us soaked and raised eyebrows.
Eventually the woman joined us.
She was the painter person
and he was the masseuse part of the team.
She said she was tired from manicures
and couldn't do the massage justice.
She said all the workers went home 
to Vietnam for the Chinese New Year.
They were short on help.
Thank you Mrs. Obvious.
Well, I think that is what she said.
She may have said 
"Oh, 4 more suckers."
Eventually, I had my turn
while she painted the toes of the other sisters.
Before he started, he re-started the sound system.
He motioned to me so that I understood
he was speaking about the music.
He asked me if I liked "E uh".
me: Who?
him: E uh
me: Umm, I don't know who that is.
him(incredulous): really?
me: yeah, no I don't know who that is.
He went on to comment how small my toenails were 
with the exception of the pinkie toe.
I think he said "ooh little" and 
while pointing to the pinkie toe "then this".
Nice, and why thank you sir.
He said I looked like Jackie.
I told him, we are twins.
I don't think he knew that term.
He moved to Jackie
while the woman painted my toes.
By now, Suelllen and Karyn have dried their toenails
and went into hypothermia.
He starts on Jackie.
He commented "ooh little toenails."
Um, yeah we get it.
Our father is Fred Flintstone.
I am now in hysterics but trying to hide it
while I take pictures with my phone.
Being an idiot like she is,
she remembers we are going for pedicures
and decides to "dry" shave her leg.
She didn't know better,
she has only been shaving her legs
for 40 years.
She had some full blown razor burn going on.
 
 Her toenails he noticed but the red, swollen skin...nope.
He is unaware of it 
and is scrubbing her shin with a true vigor.
I think she may have cried.
I cried with laughter.
He is blabbing to her.
She has no clue what he is saying.
I am pretty sure he said
"me love you long time".
We were all dry with our shoes on by the time 
the woman has made it to Jackie.
She was doing manicures
in between painting our toes
and in no hurry to get us finished.
Jackie got a bit of a oil on her toes
and a quick dry spray and then 
shoved her feet into 
the furry lining of her boots.
I was pretty sure
she would have fur stuck to her nails
when we got home.
1 1/2 hours later
we departed and got some dinner.
It was a blast.
I laughed so hard at her agony
during the pedicure
my endorphins are still raging.
Following dinner,
the girls dropped us off at my vehicle
and we headed to my house.
We pulled off our boots
and were pretty happy with the results.

Even if they would have been smeared it was
totally worth the cost, just for the laughter.
Gosh, I love that idiot Jackie.

24 comments:

  1. You are my mom and I can't tell who's feet are who's. Right? I love me some aunt Jackie too

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  2. Why is it that I'm amazed that your feet even look the same?

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  3. oh, girl...this k.i.l.l.e.d. me. Me love you long time best blog line ever!

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  4. You two are so very blessed to have each other ! I would think it must be uber cool to have a built in bestie !!!!!

    I hate people touching my feet - grosses me out... but I'll admit your adventure sounded like a blast !!!!

    huggies !

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  5. LOL!!
    You girls are goof balls - I hope you tipped well. ;-)

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  6. Are hypothermia, razor burn and raging endorphins contagious? I think I've got them all!

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  7. You guys are so very very cute - so much fun together. My daughter and I are going Thursday. Hope you both are safe! sandie

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  8. Oh this made me laughso hard! I onlyhave come to understand "pick a color " after a year or so. Ive actually turned myhusband ontopedis.cheaper than podiatrist! We laugh everytime imaging what they must be speculating about us. They r wonderful. At leastwise think so. But I dont know for sure! Ann

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  9. My daughter and I went for a pedi. She is so ticklish. Those girls that were working on us were really chatting something, probably how stupid we were.
    But that razor burns looks like it hurt. You do have little nails.....but nice feet, hah.

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  10. Girl...you know how the massage is supposed to feel good? Usually I'm grimacing too. Except I'm there by myself. I'd love to have you there to giggle with.

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  11. OOO....little toenails! Sorry, I couldn't resist! ;-) Seriously sound like a seriously fun evening.

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  12. I went with my sister to get our nails done a while back. This was the one and only time and here's why. No one spoke English at all. We both sat there uncomfortable but my lady did a great job. I paid her for both nail jobs and when I went to give her a tip. She didn't know the word tip and kept pushing the money back to me because I paid. I finally set the money down and gave her a cheesy 70's afterschool special thumbs up. She looked horrified and my sister busted out laughing. My sister still gives me the thumbs up and tells anyone who will listen the story. The icing on the cake is I was told after that a thumbs up in their culture is like the finger here :).


    Kristen

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  13. gotta love girls who know how to have fun regardless.
    My mom's younger sister is wanting me, sister-bird and she to go in for mani's and pedi's. My aunt is looking for a spa-like place, affordable too. (Am guessing she wants to be able to understand the language.)

    you've been on my mind. how's your dad?

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  14. Aren't pedis in the winter the best? I have no idea what my Vietnamese people are saying to me, either...most of the time! But they do such a good job! LOVE the colors on those piggies!

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  15. What a cute story - very funny! And your tiny toenails look beautiful, too!

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  16. that was odd...that guy .. He didnt look like he was dressed for the role. Sounds fun though. The toes are hot ...love the color

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  17. Pretty toes! Truly! In January. On a farm. Who knew. Ok, so, I'm, a, freak. Or Shrek. Who can't care about punctuation. Never had a pedi. You do make it sound fun tho. Am also an idiot like Jackie w/the dry shave. "Dat not a good idea" for sure. You are NOT Debbie Downer. My family likes to call each other that and make the annoying noise that goes with... You cheer me up after they test me. Because of you I now say "I can't care." Praying hard the meds help your Dad (and Mom). Makes me think of my sweet Uncle Jimmy's battle w/the same. Please stop forgetting your camera. Especially if you're rockin' the "Forever Lazy" look while remodeling a kitchen. (only in America would we advertise, n buy, such a product). You are way too cool for me. I also don't facebook. Bet you stop reading my comments (and blog) now.
    xo
    Leslie
    ps I pinned your blog to my favs, so there!

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  18. oh my oh my. too much fun and craziness. : )

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  19. This was hilarious!! Especially because I've had those same "conversations" with the nail people. Heck, I could have given them my first born child!!! Everyone needs a good laugh, you're blessed to have a sister and friends to hang with!!

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  20. The toes... definitely gorgeous.

    My twitter... ScribeTH

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  21. What!? A foot massage with your pedicure? I get pedis every 4 weeks from my nail girl, and she NEVER massages my feet. Thats it. Next time I am going to the mall! Lol!

    Mary

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  22. Who the heck is E Uh??? I am saying it outloud over and over and can't figre it out. Yes, I am home alone so no one thinks I am losing my marbles...too much funny!

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  23. Getting your toes made up all pretty with your BFFs is one of the best things in the world. Way cheaper than therapy. I hear some people take along a bottle of champagne and drink mimosas while all this is going on. Some people. Not mentioning any names on the internet.

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  24. Oh my--you make me wish I had a sister--it wouldn't even have to be a twin--but that would be a plus, of course! If you both have your sense of humor--I would love to spend a day with y'all!

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Thanks for reading my blather. I read every comment. They make my heart happy!