Tuesday, March 27, 2012

A peeve and a plan



My great niece is getting married Thursday evening 
at the Conservatory in St. Louis.
I am so excited.
She is like a daughter to me. 
She spent countless hours at our house
 when she was little
and her daddy feels like he is mine too.
Adore is too little of a word 
for the way I love them.
But the point of this story
is my pedicure in preparation
for the big event.
A new nail place has opened up in our town.
Hip hip hooray.
Everyone who likes a pedi
is donning party hats
and riding ponies.
Well, I know I would if I could.
I visited it this afternoon.
The place is nice,
the chairs are awesome.
My best sister-in-law and favorite goof,
who makes me cackle showed up.
I was delighted.
I hadn't seen her in months.
No, I haven't seen anyone in months.
Just before I went to the nail place
I ran to Wal mart to get a gift card.
I saw some dear friends in the store
and had to hug them and gab.
I was there an hour.
AN hour!
Man, I miss my friends.
However, I am off my subject
the pedicure...
It was nice and my toes look great.
I even had my nails painted.
But I have one pet peeve.
The salon workers spoke
Vietnamese the whole time.
Please people, I am insecure.
Why are you making fun of my little toes
in a language I cannot understand?
I have been insulted in English before
concerning my hooves.
Please let me privy to your mockery.
I don't like your secret language.
My imagination runs amok
on topics I think you are discussing about me.
How is a woman supposed to relax
in a vibrating chair 
that shakes every amount 
of loose flesh she has
 like it is a jello mold
with the suspicion that she is possibly 
being ridiculed
 for just that? 
I object right here and now.
I wish I would have talked to my sis-in-law
in Pig Latin and
 gave then a taste of their own medicine.
Extnay imetay Iay illway!
Boom.



16 comments:

  1. My feet are disgusting. I'm always so embarrassed, going in for a pedicure. I need one before Easter. I don't care what language they speak as long as they can work a miracle.

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  2. It makes me think of the Seinfeld episode where Elaine brings George's dad to her nail salon to interpret because he knew Koren from the war and she was paranoid they were talking about her. :-)

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  3. Hun - when I go I do know what you mean - so I really try to do my best just to close my eyes and mediate or something!!!!!!!!! Coz - I've got to have my mani and pedi! lol sandie

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  4. Precisely the reason I have never had, nor ever will have a pedicure! Glad your tootsies are pretty, though.

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  5. I feel the same way everytime I go. We (my husband goes too - shhhh, don't tell anyone, he's ashamed, but his feet are in great shape) often imagine afterwards what they've been saying about us, especially his size 14 surfboards. Also he always seems to get the lovely gal with the cleavage, hmmmm, maybe that's the real reason he goes with me. Ann

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  6. yeah...
    I never have liked it when you are somewhere....
    and people are rude and don't talk to you...when they are helping you(like a cashier)
    About the salon...do the people "helping" ever try to talk to you?
    I have not gone to a salon that they speak another language...probably for the same reason that you and the rest of the ladies here do not like it. I am "chicken"...you were "brave". 8~)
    Take care,
    Nancy

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  7. Well, you could have been at the salon I used to go to. Actually, everyone there was wonderful, kind, friendly, and did speak English. The owner always did my nails, and one morning they were all speaking in their native Vietnamese (or whatever). Linda looked at me and said they were talking about how much the price of rice has increased. So ya never know.

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  8. I guess we'll just have to use our imagination or try visualization to view the outcome of your pedi???
    Sixty-three years and ne'er a pedi. Guess I'm due!

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  9. Ov-lay is-they! Ew-yay are the om-bay!

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  10. I so totally agree with you. I really dislike them not speaking English. While I know they are not talking about me(or you) it sure feels like it. And doesn't getting a manicure and pedicure do wonders to your well being?

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  11. I hope you are having a wonderful time...(I don't know how to say that in Vietnamese, but I really mean it).

    XO

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  12. This is a great posting I have read. I like your article.

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  13. Seriously, you kill me! You are so funny.

    Jenny L.

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  14. I keep thinking that someday you will post a photo of your famous "hooves" -
    I gotta see those little toes. You can show us; you're among friends!

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  15. How was the wedding? I went to the Conservatory a few falls ago..it was lovely then. Can't imagine it in spring.
    I'm still sporting the lovely toes I got a few weeks ago. Fortunately our worst time was having to sit in the massaging chairs for an hour waiting our turn.

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  16. Oh that is so aggravating~
    Especially if they can speak English...
    You know what I do? I just interrupt them excessively with little questions... of no consequence really. Just to get them to talk to me ...THE CUSTOMER! I personally think it's rude.

    iAY ikeLAY eeTHAY igPAY atinLAY iAY-eaDAY!!! oYAY esYAY iAY ooDAY!

    ~atPAY

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Thanks for reading my blather. I read every comment. They make my heart happy!