Sunday, March 25, 2012

What I Know For Sure- 21st Edition



1. Cooking the Coopkeeper's turkey sausage in the morning is a great idea.
Showering in the morning is a great idea also.
Doing them simultaneously is a mistake.

2. Crying at your gyno appt. may make you seem a bit "unsettled".
She may write you a script that you throw in the trash 15 minutes later.

3. On days I cannot walk, God carries me. Sometimes he carries me out of the gyno office.
4.  My pajama jeans are too big. I think Stuart applauded their dismissal. 

5. I am still laughing over something I heard on 30 Rock weeks ago..."Oh don't be so dramatic.That's my thing and if you take it away I will kill myself and then you." Jenna Maroney
And one from Modern Family... "she's like a dream wrapped in a wish poured into jeggings." Manny Delgado

6. I have broccoli breath.

7. A card in the mail from someone who loves you feels like a hug.

8. I love what my coach says...usually an excuse is a reason stuffed with a lie.

9. My flower beds are a mess. I have Creeping Charlie in most. I have another winter annual from the fields running rampant. Stu says it is hen bit. I call it Bleeping Charlie.  

10. My daughter Abbie is quite funny. I have evidence to back that statement up.

11. Feed a dog too much fat scraps and shit happens. Literally.
12. I am gearing up to get my Oompa loompa on.  Fake tan towels are at the ready.

13.  I am taking interviews for garden help. All applicants will be accepted. Word to the wise... the pay is crap.
14. My birthday is coming up in a few weeks. I am planning a give-away. And relax, it will not be a chance to garden with me.
15.  I miss blogging and I have lost my funny. If you find it please forward to me at: 
Boring and Old 
P.O. Box Lame as Heck
16. I ran over a shovel today with the mower. It sounded like a drive-by shooting. Janie's got a gun, er mower.
17. I am such an asset on the farm. Well, part of that word is correct.

18. Dad is coming home to the Alzheimer's unit tomorrow. I will be glad to kiss the 2 hour hospital drive good-bye. I count every day with him as a blessing.

19. We have had our air on for two weeks. My allergies require it.
And my "I hate to be hot" attitude does too.

20. I have to attend my date with Don Draper. Usually, I detest a cheating cad with a drink in his hand...but this one is an exception to my rule.
P.S.  If you are still reading my blog, thanks for sticking with me through this time where I am absent much of the time in reading and commenting on yours. I miss you. I truly do. But my name is Janie and I have bootcamp homework and I am a TV head.


20 comments:

  1. I have missed you....and I don't think you have lost an ounce of your funny. Maybe it was just in hibernation. :)
    I ran over a concrete block that was hiding in the tall grass with my grandpa's brand new super expensive self propelled mower a couple of summers ago. It too sounded like a gun shot, which it quite possibly was since it killed the mower. I thought my grandpa would shoot me. Never been so scared in my life. I am beyond thankful to still be breathing. :)
    Love you!

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  2. You are so funny - glad to see you here. sandie

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  3. What makes you think you've "lost your funny"?
    I assure you, you have not!
    I haven't been to the gyno office since before my last baby some 33 years ago. Now I know why.
    And your coach knows what (s)he's talking about - even if what (s)he says hurts a bit.
    And I won't go on addressing everything you said here - although I have something to say for all 20 of them.
    I'm going to try to find out just how funny Abbie is.

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  4. I've missed you....wounded weary heart, pajama bottom-less, tv watchin', gyno scareing and all. That is so silly to suggest drugs. I mean at this age aren't we supposed to be a bit ..... "unsettled"??? I am woman hear me roar.....
    happy monday Janie.

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  5. At my last gyno appointment I asked, "How come everyone in my family is on antidepressants except me? How is that fair?"

    Your birthday is coming up? Well that oughtta be some kind of fun. Maybe I'll need to splurge in a new pair of jeggings.

    Thankful for the news about dad.

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  6. You are still funny, I am laughing my head off!.0

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  7. Thanks for the smiles this morning!

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  8. I must disagree that you have lost your funny. No ma'am. Can you send the pajama jeans my way? I love me some Manny Delgado.

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  9. You most definitely have not lost your funny. Thinking about you and loving it when you post!! You make my day.

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  10. i do not think you have lost your funny.

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  11. I think you are really funny. Good news abut your father.
    I went to your daughter's site. How much does she charge to paint the doggie pictures?
    Sounds like you are loosing weight......good for you.

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  12. I can hardly stand not seeing the skinny You. You've got my number...text me a picture. I'm gonna bug you until you do it! Our air is on too. Allergy season is something we take seriously. You are the funniest person I know. You couldnt get rid of me if you tried.

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  13. Ah dear Janie- consider this a hug in the email!! I so wish I lived nearby so I could come and help you garden, and give you hugs and commiserate with you re: the whole nasty Alzheimer's thing!
    You have not lost your funny, it is simply subdued at the moment, but if one reads you carefully, it is still there in spades!!
    Have a wonderful day-blessings!

    Tracy

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  14. You have definitely not lost your funny! Glad Dad is coming home. This is good news for all of you.

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  15. Welcome back, Dear Janie! Oh...I read #8 as COUCH instead of COACH... it kinda works... ;)

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  16. Glad your Dad is doing better...I am TV head also, so I understand your "habit".

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  17. Oh Janie. I only rarely watch Thirty-Rock. Last week I did, mostly because the dog was sitting on the remote and he looked so peaceful I did not want to disturb him. That night I had a dream I was running away with Kenneth...

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  18. Janie...I missed this post earlier...I am glad that I found it! 8~)
    Take care,
    Nancy

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  19. With gynos and hospitals and alzheimers, I"m sure it's hard to find your funny, but you didn't lose it, you are sew funny, don't stop bloggin, it's a great way to keep the funny gene from dryin up. . .honestly I don't stop by often enough, but when I do, you crack me up Janie

    You're give away. . .it isn't a pot of Bleepin Charlies is it Ü?

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Thanks for reading my blather. I read every comment. They make my heart happy!