Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Good-bye to a friend



R.I.P. Sweet buddy, Harley.
You were a good and loyal friend.
You were always joyful.
We will miss you.


I hope you are chasing balls 
and barking at birds. 
You were just a dog,
but we sure loved you.


Thursday, May 24, 2012

A long and rambling road to an event announcement.



Well, they did it.
They infected me.
Elle Pea, Maggie,
Caroline, and Abbie
had the bug and gave it to me.
I reckon it is true because I am up in the night.
I feel crummy.
I need a rag.
I think I may have a grape stuck in my craw. 
That's unlikely since I have had 
nary a single grape
in months.
I wonder why...
fruit is my new dessert-y love.
I like a nice bunch of grapes.
I love them frozen.
Oh, and frozen sliced bananas are fantastic...
I partake frozen blueberries
almost nightly.
They are my dessert of choice.
Another plus, when I am finished I look
like I should be on a slab with a toe tag.
My lips are blue and my teeth look
like I am a meth head.
I have to brush immediately.
Which makes me wonder does wine do that?
Or just blueberry wine?
I am not a fan of wine.
Whine, yes. 
Wine, no.
But, I was talking about my tonsils.
The left one is throwing a party.
She is swollen and all gussied up with blush.
Tonsils are one of those organs you don't need.
What is their purpose?
I am far too tired and sickly to google it.
Would you be a dear?
And while you are up...
 grab me some frozen grapes.
In case you were wondering,
 there is a  purpose for this post
I want to invite you to an event.
If you are local-ish
 Ethel Edith - Junk, Funk, & Furniture is having a 
CLEAN OUT THE SHED SALE!!
 This Saturday 8-12 at 114 West North 8th Street. 
 A portion of all the items sold will be donated to Ollie's team for the Down Syndrome Association of Greater St. Louis 
in Ollie's  name. 
We will also be having a HUGE donation type garage sale going on Friday 4-6:30 and Saturday 8-12 at the same time.
It is going to be a great time.
We have tons of super stuff.
I have cleaned my closet 
and piled up my purses.
Word on the street is my cousin, Tom
may be in the vicinity.
Tom recently called me 
one of his " better looking cousins" 
which has earned him top standing in the cousin rank.
The other 55-56, I can't be sure 
and can't care to count right now,
had better step up their games.

 Tom and his family 
are coming to our neck of the woods
to see his folks.
He may be persuaded to stop in.
He may give autographs.
He may bring me a rag.
He may "Vicks" my neck. 
Or most likely, he will be busy.
But I will be there with my other peeps.
I'll be the disheveled one with the rag,
reeking of Vicks mentholatum,
 and Purel-ing up.
See ya there. 



Monday, May 21, 2012

3rd Sunday Market lessons


1. A weekend with my girls is better than any a weekend in any 4 star spa.




2. Staying in a hotel with a shower that performs like a baby sneezes, a broken vending machine, no ice machine in sight, and compounding that with an A/C that makes you long for January can make for a lovely stay. Or not.

3. Giving a six year old a camera turns adults into fools.





4. Sometimes dead eye runs in the family.



5. Sometimes idiots do too.





6.  90 degree heat, slatherings of sunscreen, and blowing dirt makes a girl crusty.  

7. Some do crusty way cuter than others.



8. Using fake tan before an outside event in full sun only draws attention to the poor application on your knees and heels. Call me Cinnamon Gram. My loving family does. I should have Cinnamon Insta"grammed" it.

9.Visiting around the booth made me aware that Jackie is both deaf and dumb.

10. Our pals Darby and Lauren confirmed that I am also deaf and Jackie is indeed dumb.



11. When an elderly diabetic man overheats we roll out our Dr. (Abbie) in the family and serve up sliced apples. We also call the medical cart.

12. We people watch and we wise crack. 
Case in point...as medical cart is pulling away with the weary, ill man ...a lady rushes in front of the cart carrying a picket fence dealio causing the cart to have to wait until she passes.
A bit of the commentary we provided : 
1. "Quick, I have to get this ugly ass picket fence shelf to my car before you treat this dying man."
2.  " I am going to rush in front of you, trip and impale myself on this hideous picket fence shelf so I can ride on the medical cart too."

13. When faced with fair food choices I will pay $6.00 for a plain chicken breast. 
#highway robbery#rubberchicken#cryingalittleforicecream

14. Buying art supplies to occupy a six year old during a long hot day and leaving them at the hotel is living on the edge.

15. When one of your favorite cousins comes out to the fairgrounds to see you and them posts on facebook  " Fun morning looking around at the 3rd Sunday Market and seeing two of my better looking cousins, Janie Fox and Jackie Lively. So many things I wanted to buy, but then I think of all the things I have to dust now!" 
makes me both thrilled that he wears glasses and also thrilled that they must not work well since there is no mention of the two goat hairs I discovered on my neck upon arrival at home. Damn you Dead Estrogen and your rearing of your ugly head.(hairs) 

16. I, Janie Fox, who spent the majority of the day with my Genie Bra strap showing morphs into Fashion Police when faced with sitting and watching people. 
Fashion Rule #1
Be decisive. Pick your destination. Do not attempt to do two activities at once.
1. Flea Market or 2. Beach.
Trying to work on your tan while perusing antiques and collectibles is just wrong.
Wearing a bikini top, tankini top or full on swimsuit with shorts is flat out asking for ridicule.
Fashion Rule #2 
Young girl with the dress just past your "china"...that tee shirt cannot double as a dress. We can't care if it is your first date with The Beefcake. Walking around in this windy dustbowl will surely send you home with a yeast infection. You better Monostat up girlie. 

17. Being able to hook up a gooseneck cattle trailer in three attempts makes me a rockstar... with a crickety neck.


18. Having a chiropractor in tow makes me a lucky duck.


19. Coming home to a hot shower, hot man, and a hot chicken breast makes me a happy camper.


20.  Time with some of your most favorite people is worth more than a fairground chicken breast. It is priceless.



P.S. Abbie's version of the weekend

Thursday, May 17, 2012

What I Know For Sure - 23rd Edition



1. Maggie has strep throat. She canceled my hair appointment today but had the girls at the salon mix up my red hair color for  me. I picked it up and did it myself at  home. There may be a reason you have to have a license to do hair. Presently, I have monkey ears and it appears someone killed  a monkey in my bathroom. I can't care because my hair turned out great.

2. Caroline is also sick. When I had her yesterday she started running a fever. She would holler I need a rag on my eyes. I need a rag on my hand. Whatever hurt needed a damp cloth. At one point she was sporting 3 rags.







3. When you are constantly over-booking yourself it is not wise to plant a gazillion pots that need watered daily.

4. The truth hurts. It may not hurt as bad as slamming your head on an open cabinet door( and truthfully, that hurts like heck) but nonetheless the truth hurts.

5. I am a huge fan of Jeffery Lewis. I adore a smart acre who has great design sense. He reminds me of someone.

6. I had to get 2 broken teeth fixed this week. My dentist patched them with more filling and saved me mega bucks. No one tells you old teeth happen. I think George Washington may have tried.

7. Everett graduated preschool this week. (sob) In the program he said when he grows up he wants to be a train driver at the zoo. I think his plan is genius. He always goes 100 mph and is part animal.

8. My girls and I are doing an antique show this weekend at 3rd Sunday Market in Bloomington, IL. It is at a fairgrounds with lots of fair food. This year there will be no mini donuts for me because I don't want Porta-Potty mini craps.

9. I can never type don't correctly. It always comes up don;t. I only misspell that one. Can't, won't, etc. I type correctly. 

10. You should always keep your promises. Promise me you will.

11. Word verification for blog comments is killing me. I do not need the grief. I can't want to work that hard. Just make me type don;t.

12. Drinking 64 ounces of water daily will make you look and feel betterIt will also keep you looking for a Porta-Potty.

13. There is nothing funny about hitting your funny bone. Well, except for what people say when they do. Next time holler... I need a rag!

14.  A bad Elvis impersonator is better than no Elvis impersonator at all. There was one at Dad's today. I saw some swooning. And some snickering. My funny sis, Linda said "Don't be cruel."





 15. Make it a habit to do nice things for people who never find out it was you. You can start with me.

16. Listen to your children. And remember when they are quiet, trouble is brewing.

17.  Someone tried to scam me this week...but I am sharp. I know better than send money to book a time share in Nigeria. Or send money to rent my timeshares to someone else and then they will rent it to a third party and mail me huge money. If it sounds to good to be true... it is. 

18. Why must I keep re-learning that too much watermelon is too much watermelon? I am not looking for a cleanse but I found one.

19. I need a pedicure and a manicure but I am too busy watering flower pots.

20. Bleach cleans up hair color in a sink. I haven't tried it on my ears. I am now taking appointments and buying bananas.


Sunday, May 13, 2012

pictures



Saturday we had a Mother's Day luncheon
 with my mom
at her assisted living home.

 Mom's bottle tree
 
Aubrie

 Caroline

Maggie and Elle Pea (Penelope)

Yertle the Turtle-neck and Ollie


Abbie (with baby Clifford on board)

Linda with Adrienne, Ashley, and grand daughter Lydia


Jackie and Ollie 
 




It was nice. 
I asked my sister, Jackie
to take pictures of me, mom and my girls.
It is obvious we are twins.
She sucks as bad as worse than I do 
in the photographer department.

Proof positive...



I love the shot of Aubrie and Mom.
Really good job Jackie...
but where is Penelope?

It was overcast but bright.
I am a blinker but I tried really hard 
to keep my eyes open. 
I am as bad a photo subject as 
I am a photographer. 
Apparently, with the exception of Annie,
it runs in the family.
 
Exhibit A


 Exhibit B



Exhibit C

Exhibit D


God help us.
Dern it Caroline,
we about had it.

Exhibit E
 

Well, you get the picture.
Poor as it may be.
 

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Joy



The birthday party was a success.
The birthday boy was asleep when we arrived
and didn't really want to wake up.
I tried, Mom tried,
Linda tried.
No go even though
we told him we were there.
A few minutes later Linda said 
Judy and Butch just got here
to celebrate your birthday
and he popped up.
 I had to call Butch a thunder stealer. 


 That''s Butch in the front, still reeling from my name calling.
We had doughnuts waiting for Dad.
His even had some candles.


 Life is different now.
I still miss "him"
but I am blessed to be able to hug him.
I can hold his hand.
He knows I am someone who cares about him.
He always knows his wife is Toots.
He doesn't always know that mom is Toots. 
It is okay.
I know that joy
is a matter of choice and perspective.
If you look for it, it is there
in all circumstances.
My twins' death anniversary is on Dad's birthday.
It is always a day I wake up a bit sad.
I choose to be grateful though.
Life isn't always pretty
but Jesus loves me.
Therefore, life is always good.



I choose to be grateful for what I have and 
not ungrateful for what I don't have.
I recently read a poem that I hadn't seen in years.
I put it in my desk drawer
that I open several times a day.
I want to remember it.
I want to always live it.


One ship sails East,
And another West,
By the self-same winds that blow,
Tis the set of the sails
And not the gales,
That tells the way we go.


~Ella Wheeler Wilcox 


Now, this gives me joy.
 
 

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Celebration



A few months ago,
 I wasn't sure we would be celebrating this day.
But we are!
God has blessed us.
Today my dad is 93!
We are off to party and make a fun day.
I'll be back with pics....
and stories.
I'll leave you with a teaser story 
of what may be to come.
My sister Linda has a spiky hairdo.
Maggie is her stylist too.
It is cute hair...to us.
On one of our first visits to the unit
my sister Linda entered. 
One of the residents came right up to her
and waved her finger in Linda's face
while pointing at my sister's hair
and said "Oh no no no, don't be bringing that to my house!"
Bahaha 
In her defense, this lady wears a hat at all times.
 It is always entertaining!

Happy Birthday Dad!! 
I love you so!