Thursday, May 10, 2012

Joy



The birthday party was a success.
The birthday boy was asleep when we arrived
and didn't really want to wake up.
I tried, Mom tried,
Linda tried.
No go even though
we told him we were there.
A few minutes later Linda said 
Judy and Butch just got here
to celebrate your birthday
and he popped up.
 I had to call Butch a thunder stealer. 


 That''s Butch in the front, still reeling from my name calling.
We had doughnuts waiting for Dad.
His even had some candles.


 Life is different now.
I still miss "him"
but I am blessed to be able to hug him.
I can hold his hand.
He knows I am someone who cares about him.
He always knows his wife is Toots.
He doesn't always know that mom is Toots. 
It is okay.
I know that joy
is a matter of choice and perspective.
If you look for it, it is there
in all circumstances.
My twins' death anniversary is on Dad's birthday.
It is always a day I wake up a bit sad.
I choose to be grateful though.
Life isn't always pretty
but Jesus loves me.
Therefore, life is always good.



I choose to be grateful for what I have and 
not ungrateful for what I don't have.
I recently read a poem that I hadn't seen in years.
I put it in my desk drawer
that I open several times a day.
I want to remember it.
I want to always live it.


One ship sails East,
And another West,
By the self-same winds that blow,
Tis the set of the sails
And not the gales,
That tells the way we go.


~Ella Wheeler Wilcox 


Now, this gives me joy.
 
 

13 comments:

  1. I do believe you are thinking clearly and just right with how life is happening with your dad. The pic of your folks together.... so tender, and your dad is cute. Also I see that foxy lady in the background and recognize your smile. Wow woman, you look GREAT. I'm proud of you.

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  2. You get it! We are blessed...we just need to remember it :)

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  3. this makes me happy and sad at the same time. btw was that you in the dark? need an updated pic. one where i can actually SEE you!!!

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  4. I love the poem - & love they way YOUR sail's set. How interesting that such sadness and joy can co-exist...

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  5. I see you peeking out in the back. You're looking SKIN-NY! Way to go! I miss your dad's suspenders in these photos, but he's very sweet, none-the-less, and I love your perspective.

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  6. Ah...isn't it hard when the people you love get older? We went through this with my grandmother last year...every once in awhile we would get a glimpse of the "old" gram....but even if she didn't know us I was relieved when she was content. Thinking of you today.

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  7. You are blessed indeed my friend!!! What wonderful, tender memories being made. I love the poem - and just the other day I was telling our dear Coach that I now realize that it's the 'sails of my thoughts' that create my life. You look incredible. INcredible! Your full heart spills into mine. xo

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  8. Love the picture of your Mom ooking at your Dad. Oh the pictures bring back memories. I miss my Dad. He always knew my Mom.....he would pound his chest and say "My Wife". He couldn't remember my name. I think he combined it with my husbands name. He adored me and my husband in the last few years. Before so, not so much. (((((HUGS)))))) to you on this anniversary of your babies.

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  9. Oh Janie. What a beautiful and loving family you have. You are truly blessed.

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  10. What a special celebration, of many things. And your post is just uplifting, Janie, finding the positive when things are difficult is a learned skill, but one that will take you far. Love the picture of your mom and dad. And stop hiding in the back, skinny! Ann

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  11. This fills my heart with sunshine AGAIN! You and your family are so cute (and inspiring)! Wanted to leave comments on each. n. every. post. But tech hates me and I still have only 1 usb port for keypad n mouse etc to share. Plug. Unplug. repeat.Throw things. New laptop needs software at Apple store an hour away.... Farm sucking me dry. K my pity party clearly needs an attitude adjustment. I will follow your excellent lead! Just wanted you to know you are always in my prayers far away friend!
    love ya LOTS and wanna join you on your march and rummage sale and... ... ...
    (((hugs)))
    Leslie

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  12. Sweet Janie . . Our time here on earth is just a breath, I know God has something so much better waiting for us:O) Keeping you and your family in prayer always. Love Sandy xo

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Thanks for reading my blather. I read every comment. They make my heart happy!