I have an Iphone.
She is a smart phone.
My very own Suze Orman.
Smart but annoying.
A smart phone who daily
makes me look like an idiot.
The autocorrect feature is something
I cannot get used to.
I am a texter.
I am always flying around
like my hair is on fire,
therefore I love texting.
No time spent talking on the phone.
I can multi task and get even more done.
Truth be told I would probably
do a better job at everything
if I didn't try to do so many tasks at once.
It could be why I am always
finding things I have half-assed.
Like wiping out the fridge
only to come back in an hour
to find the bottle of syrup
on it's side with the lid partially open
on a shelf that is not removeable.
Now that is a lovely surprise.
Especially when you haven't had pancakes in six months.
cleaning it all up
only to come back in an hour and step in a puddle of it
you didn't seem to notice.
But during all the syrup havoc I have
texted aprox. 23 times.
But I digress.
The moral of the story is autocorrect.
I cannot remember to look at my message before
I hit send.
I am sending dandy messages.
I told Abbie that
I was a toy train.
I have no idea what I was really wanting to say.
I text "fave" and it says "Dave"
and the receiver wonders who is Dave?
Every time I want to say "do"
the blasted thing says "Di."
Now I did love the Princess but
I have moved on since her death.
Stuart was putting up the ceiling
on Maggie's new house's porch
one really hot Sunday morning.
I went to church and he texted me
on his ancient phone
the one and only text
that he always sends...
the only one he knows how to send...
"how u doing"
I was working in the church coffee shop.
I thought I texted back
"good, working at church."
But instead I texted back
"good, whoring at church"
I have re-named my smart phone
She is killing me
one text at a time.