Thursday, June 2, 2011

Strength in numbers



Wednesday nights are my bible study night.
For several years I have attended this study group.
Some of the faces have changed,
some have moved home to be with God,
some have had to miss sessions,
but one thing remains true
we are connected by our faith and our hearts. 
They are so dear to me.
  These ladies build me up in faith and joy.
Emotional traumas wear us down.
Satan loves us to lose our joy.
Our joy is our strength 
and when we are weak we can't resist
the troubles he sets against us.
That is why we need each other.
God sends us these warriors to 
build us up in faith and to renew our joy.
Some days I am that person for them.
We are to encourage and pray for one another.
To lift each other and love each other.
For where two or three come together in my name,
there I am with them.
Matthew 18:20

Ollie's surgery is one week away.
I have been filled with hope, but also anxiety.
I am a bag of mixed emotions.
I am ready for her heart to be fixed.
I want her healthy so she can grow.
Yet, on the other hand I dread that incision.
I am filled with angst for my daughter.
I do not want to see her sadness, fear, and worry.
I do not want to worry and I fight it.
It is sin.
I DO trust God.
I KNOW all will be fine.
But, I am flesh.
I have my moments.
My stress is showing up in my waistband.
It is here in the middle of the night
when sleep eludes me.
Part of it is my "mom-ness"
and part of it is my history.
I am a great pretender.
I put on a happy face sometimes,
when all I really want to do is sob.
I don't want this to be my story.
But, it is.
I have a hero in my story though,
it is my Lord.
He gives power to the faint and the weary.
Wow, that is me.
On my own, I am faint
and I am weary.
But, through him, I am strong.
Last night I confessed all this to my group.
They rallied.
Man, they rallied.
I am prayed up now.
They gathered me up 
and they surrounded me with prayer
and their love.
I felt so much better.
I felt so light.
I told them I could have danced.
I told them I should because 
I am really a good dancer.
Probably not true, but I felt it.
Margie, Patsy, Jamie (2 of you),
Esther, Jacque, Becky,
Carla and Ramona...
thanks and I love you!
I know I am going to have lots of emotions
throughout these next several days.
That is where I know you, my readers
will come in.
You tell me you pray for Ollie.
I know it and I feel it.
I know you are praying for me also.
Thanks to you, too.

Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles:
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
Isaiah 30: 28-31

 










13 comments:

  1. Sounds like the Father is "stocking the pantry of your heart" through friends with skin on them and many of us whose skin you can't see...

    I think it is good to recognize and confess the weakness of our human nature. John says in one of his letters that to do otherwise is to make God a liar and the truth is not in us.

    BUT....if we walk in the light...!!!! Continue to walk in the the light, Janie. My prayers are with you, Ollie, the surgeon, and the entire family.

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  2. I love you, Janie. Everything is going to be alright. I just sense it. Miss Ollie is so wrapped in love and prayers right now. People all over the world that you don't even know have been touched by her and your family. You have warriors everywhere....lifting her up. Trust that. Trust HIM. He will provide. I can't wait to come see your smiling faces next week after work and KNOW that Ollie is "fixed"!

    Big Hugs....

    C.

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  3. oh girlie this made my eyes tear up. i'm so so glad you have that circle of sisters to lift you up and surround you with God's love and prayers. is there anything more important?? my waist gets a little bigger when i'm stressed too. i'm right there with ya. praying peace, comfort and complete healing for your whole family!

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  4. A wonderful post with so much truth...praying for your precious wee one....blessings

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  5. I have been praying everyday for Ollie and all of you (her family). She will do great! The incision will heal and be a reminder of her strength! You'll see. :)

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  6. Beautiful post Janie! I'm with you!!

    Brenda

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  7. I have been and will continue to pray for sweet Ollie, you + your family.

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  8. You are all in my thoughts and prayers each day that gets us closer to Ollie's surgery. You are most certainly on an emotional roller coaster, but thank goodness you have such a great group of friends, family and faith. Hugs to all of you. Ann

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  9. The worst is watching our children suffer. I hate that you're watching Annie hurt. But, I also know that you are her rock and she is blessed.

    When Jacob crashed I remember seeing my mother in the hall way through that stupid glass door. I remember saying "Mommy... my baby!" and her answer "My baby's baby." It hit me hard to see her suffer with my suffering.

    Ollie, Annie and you... three strong and ferocious generations. Women - strong in heart and soul.... covered and encased in our prayers.

    gena

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  10. My favorite line from you post... You are all prayed up. I love the sound of it and it makes me smile for you, your familly and Ollie.

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  11. You have such a way with words which brought many tears this morning! How lucky are you to have such a warrior group of gals to talk with and pray with!

    You and your family are in my prayers always!

    Megan

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  12. what a beautiful post...how lucky to be surrounded by such amazing women :) and i noticed one is named patsy...there aren't that many of us out there ;) and loved the pictures you shared of the outside of your home. it is amazing how you feel you know more about someone when you see where their home...and your's is just oh-so-lovely!

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  13. Lovin' and prayin' from afar!
    ((((((HUGS))))))
    Leslie

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Thanks for reading my blather. I read every comment. They make my heart happy!