1. Fred Willard is funny.
2. Willard Scott is creepy.
3. When you know better, you do better.
4. I miss mandatory naptime.
5. A loyal friend tells you when you have a booger on your face.
6. I like being called a Jesus freak.
7. Kids can't learn manners if they never see them.
8. It is more important to walk the walk, than to talk the talk.
9. If it's worth doing, it's worth doing well.
10. I love sheets dried on the clothesline.
11. It takes a mighty loofah and the threat of a chisel to wash off clinical strength antiperspirant.
12. The more love you give, the more love you possess.
13. You make me happy when skies are gray.
14. If we believe God loves us, then we need to live like we believe it.
15. Some people's shapes are apples, some are pears...I am a pineapple.
16. True serenity comes from God.
17. A man who rolls up his sleeves, seldom loses his shirt.
18. Lately my fashion sense is based on what fits.
19. Winnie the Pooh is wise.
20. It's more important to talk with someone who doesn't use long words but rather short, easy words like "What about lunch?"- Winnie the Pooh