Thursday, September 22, 2011


My mom is named Ethel
but everyone calls her Toots.
She says words all wonky.
She has done this for years.
We call them Toots-isms.
Usually they are hilarious.
Dinosaurs are deno-zowers.
Tylenol is Tidenol.
 Pimento cheese is pepperminto cheese.
She consistently calls Dollar General
the General Dollar store.
The sink is the zink.
Sometimes my sisters and I 
morph into her.
My sister Linda has come down with the 
Toots-ism bug.
We were having a discussion about
Dancing with The Stars.
She said they aren't famous this year.
At least last year they were celebrities 
who had been famous...
like Christy Allen
That would be Kirstie Alley.
She talked about the new season of 
Two and A Half Men.
She wondered if the replacement of
Charlie Sheen 
with Ashlin Kirchner
(hmm....Ashton Kutcher ) would be good.
I was cracking up 
and she knew she was now blog fodder.
I think it runs in the family.
Remember my whole restaurant fiasco?
There is probably little hope for us.
I am pretty sure it's generic.
Or genetic.


  1. My Mum used to be a great one for wonky words. she called a bikini a BICK-ini, with the emphasis on the first syllable. A Delicatessen was a Delicascene. A goal kicked in a football match was a Gold. And you put your rubbish in the Binned.
    She even got peoples knicknames mixed up. We knew a guy who went by the Moniker of Thirsty (for reasons I sure you can guess) Mum called him Frosty

  2. I was raised in a bilingual home and let's just say the accents were HEAVY - think Ricky Ricardo ! In my house we set the table with f*cks and knives (oh yeah, that went over big with guests) and went to the b*tch on vacation! We also changed the sh..... on the bed - you get the point ? To this day my father and bil all get served banana ice-cream when they order vanilla : P

    gena... who's Cuban husband has a "chin" between his foot and his knee - where the rest of us have our SHin !

  3. My kids constantly tease me for saying what I say. The more they tease the more I come up with doozies. I remember my mother always saying "they said" we always wondering who
    "they" were!

  4. That is hilarious. My inlaws mix things up husband thinks their hearing is not as good as it was so maybe they hear things differently...I think that now that they are over 80...they just don't give a crap, they're going to pronounce things however they want!

  5. Y'all sound a little GERIATRIC to me :)

    I can relate!

    Scary, but true.

  6. Ah!!! We call those sniglets! My father-in-law was the King of Sniglets. This post made me LOL for reals.

  7. Ha...I do that too! Pepperminto cheeese ..... cracking up!!

  8. Our family sometimes seems to have a language all to ourselves as we have weird names for things that only the four of us know what they mean. Love this post! Ann

  9. Lol. Is your mom from a different country? One of my grandmother was from Italy and said things like "close the light" which I now say. My other grandmother is from Poland and she says some words different too.

  10. My mom used to visit her geneologist once a year.

  11. I love it! My friend's grandmother was french and she called underwear, pants. With her french accent it just always cracked me up.


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