Toots-isms

My mom is named Ethel

but everyone calls her Toots.

She says words all wonky.

She has done this for years.

We call them Toots-isms.

Usually they are hilarious.

Dinosaurs are deno-zowers.

Tylenol is Tidenol.

 Pimento cheese is pepperminto cheese.

She consistently calls Dollar General

the General Dollar store.

The sink is the zink.

Sometimes my sisters and I 

morph into her.

My sister Linda has come down with the 

Toots-ism bug.

We were having a discussion about

Dancing with The Stars.

She said they aren't famous this year.

At least last year they were celebrities 

who had been famous...

like Christy Allen

That would be Kirstie Alley.

She talked about the new season of 

Two and A Half Men.

She wondered if the replacement of

Charlie Sheen 

with Ashlin Kirchner

(hmm....Ashton Kutcher ) would be good.

I was cracking up 

and she knew she was now blog fodder.

I think it runs in the family.

Remember my whole restaurant fiasco?

Or the medical jargon faux pas?

There is probably little hope for us.

I am pretty sure it's generic.

Or genetic.