1. "I want my Mom" is forever true.
2. Freckles are cute, liver spots are not.
3. Prayer works.
4. Stupid has no age limit.
5. Chin hair happens.
6. Unexpected laughing, tripping, or sneezing results in a wardrobe change.
7. Fat does crack.
8. Being married to your best friend is a blessing.
9. You can't rollerskate in a buffalo herd.
10. Smart is all in where you're at and what you're doing.
11. Coffee with a friend is better when it's snorted out of your nose.
12. Bad TV is abundant.
13. Beets taste like old basements.
14. Sleep is a commodity.
15. Giving is way better than receiving.
16. I Love Lucy... still.
17. With neglect feet become kindling.
18. Lying about your age isn't intentional when you can't remember your age.
19. Grand kids are one of life's best rewards.
20. If you blather, they will read.