Perplexity

Well, I am in a 

bit of a quandary up in here.

After losing almost 45 lbs.

I am in desperate need

of some new bras.

The problem is 

the over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder

is now going to be holding pebbles.

I am in possession of a couple of

Genie Bras.

They are not doing the job.

They give me a uni-boob.

I have made one trip to the store

and I tried on lots of styles and sizes.

I measured my circumference.

I measured it under the breastuses (as I like to call them)

and over them to get the cup size.

I should be a 34B.

I went prepared.

Epic fail.

I want a wider side and a cup that fits.

My cup either runneth over

or I had back fat squishing.

It is too hard of a chore.

Undress... try on 15 fuhreaking bras,

re-dress, re-stock my options and undress

only to do it 3 more times.

This is too much of a chore.

I can't care.

I don't want a salesperson helping.

Jackie was in tow.

She failed me.

I failed her.

We both left empty handed

and uni-boobed.

If you see me out and about

just remember where my eyes are

and keep your eyes focused there.

These hoohas are going to be one.

Literally...

one long, sideways, not-so bodacious tata.

Yep, I'm bringing sexy back.

It's how I roll.