Thursday, August 23, 2012

What I know For Sure-25th Edition

1. I was dying to see Hope Springs. I loaded up my sister and my mom. It was not the movie I thought I would see. It was good but not hilarious in a Steve Carell way. Word to your mother...there were sex topics I would rather not experience with my 88 year old mother. Right, sis?

2. I have opted to keep the auto correct on my phone. Many of you suggested I remove it after my last faux pas but then who would I blame for my ignorance.

3. Two times I have texted that I am excited about something, i.e. a party, a lunch. Both times I have sent the text "Obama excited..." Truthfully,  I have no idea if he is or isn't. But, I am thinking no.

4. I recently watched Forest Gump. With my poor memory, it was like a brand new movie. I now want the sound track that I am pretty sure I used to own.

5.  I have embraced the LOL. I  criticized it right here on this blog and now I find myself using it daily. What's up with that?
Never say thing you know, Jennifer Aniston will find true love.

6. We have some rain lately and I have been given a hose reprieve. I have read with the extra time. 

7. My mind is all over the place. My husband says I am "like a fart in a skillet".  I think he is a romantic flatterer.  Truthfully, I am a bit ADD (self diagnosed). I start a task and leave the room only to return later and think "dang, I forgot I started that mess."
I went upstairs yesterday morning after I had been up hours only to realize I hadn't finished making my bed. My OCD is being trumped by my ADD. Someone get me a DOC.

8. I have a habit of reading 2 or more books at once.  I tend to experience character overload and can't remember who anyone is or the story line. I recently read a book on my Kindle titled War Brides. There were several women in the story line. It was character overload and I could not remember who was who and finally made a cheat sheet. ( see #7).

9. In the book whenever something was good one of the characters would say "tickety boo". I have no idea which one but I loved that. The book was not tickety boo.

10. I have started using my cast iron skillet again. It never needs washed which is slightly disturbing albeit time saving. 

11. Yesterday I found a half of a bandana hankie in the laundry. That only means one thing...the farmer was out and about and caught without toilet paper.  Don't hate...I know someone who wears two socks per foot for this very reason.  I am not $hi**ing you.

12. The company that is replacing our mattress has yet to bring the new one. We are sleeping in a full, rather than a king. We watch a bit of tv and then I move to the other guest room. We no longer fit in a full. The biggest complaint I have is "my boudoir" is now at the front of the house. Our room is at the back and much quieter. My other complaint is I have lost the "heater" for my feet.

13. I have written numerous blog posts only to delete them later because I am too busy lazy to upload the pictures. It takes forever and I have things I would rather do. Like finish making the beds and constructing cheat sheets for books.

14. An all-night-long howling dog and his barking cohort have made me consider digging out the BB gun. Don't fret, I will forget what I am looking for once I start digging in the garage closet. (see #7).

15. I am very in-observant or is it un-observant? I can't care enough to google. I am usually freezing before I realize I am cold. Remember I went all day complaining about my loose,floppy sandal before I realized it was my leg was numb. Proof of this, is I have now solved the thinning hair problem. It is not falling out. My glasses have a crack and it keeps catching hair and breaking it off.
Anyone need some special shampoo for thinning hair? Apparently, I am an alarmist too. An alarmist with an eye appointment for new frames next week. Apparently I am also a problem solver.

16.  Baby Cliff is due in 8 days. His mom is trying to force him out with her unending task mastering.

17. I was backing out of the garage and hit my mirror and broke it  off.  When I went to have the new one put on they had ordered the wrong color and the wrong side mirror. Luckily, they are not in charge of replacing our mattress.

18. Everett turned 5 on the 16th, Caroline turned 3 on the 20th and Penelope turns 1 today the 23rd. With the edition of Cliff in about a week, I think we need an August Santa and maybe twin beds in December for my kids;)

19. Penelope had her first eye exam and she is very far-sighted. She has two pair of glasses on order. In pink. (without the Tigger stickers, of course) Obviously, if a crack develops in her frames it won't be a problem.

Now, that's the money!

19. I am not sleeping well . I blame:
a. the idiot outside dogs
b. my baby who is  still gestating her baby 
c. the lonely bed. 

Let's  have a collective "you poor thing!" And now a  collective "get over it... at least you have a bed. Or  2 ...even if they are little and unmade."

20. I am off to force Abbie into a hospital-ready pedicure and pay $30 to be made fun of for my little toes in a secret language. Korean or still hurts a little (toe).


  1. Same reaction to Hope Springs. And, I sincerely hope Jennifer Aniston can find true love. This time.

  2. Good job my friend. All of this. So much I could relate to. I laughed out loud at the "secret language" haha.. Or LOL.

  3. I struggle with #7 myself so am not sure if I've already told you or not BUT you REALLY should be paid for this funny stuff. And in my humble opinion, this IS the funniest. (Except for the sad parts.) By the way, re. #18, I think Clifford will be an ADDition rather than an EDition - although he will probably be an Edition, too, now that I think of it.

    Did you see the The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel? It would probably be a better movie to take your mother to. Again, just my humble opinion. And I have seen them both.

  4. I have mixed emotions about the fact that I can relate so well to what you write. Middle age is a mixed up mess of happy and suck-fest. I love your writing! Makes me feel less alone in my middle age afflictions. Keep 'em coming! You make me LOL! (literally). :-D

  5. Ahh I needed a good laugh! Thanks my friend ;)

  6. You rock!! Love them all but giggled at #18 :)

  7. I have too many things to say here and not enough time. xxoo

  8. Thanks for the laugh. I've been out of the blogging world this summer and now that I am back to reading, I realize how much I have missed your sense of humor. I was just looking this morning at all of the blog posts I have drafts of and have never published because of not wanting to upload pictures. I feel your pain. Also, I have embraced the LOL and I was critical at first. I can't believe I'm using it now!

  9. Again, I relate to most of these...sadly. I started to iron my youngest's shirt this morning...came out to turn the iron on and discovered I had begin to iron MY clothes already and had become side tracked...went back to get HER shirt and couldn'temember where I had set it...seriously...after much wansdering aimlessly, both tasks got done...I think. I adore Penelope's glasses!

  10. @ Rebecca Haha edition/addition. My brain is a fog. I get dumber by the day. I blame Dead Estrogen.

  11. That baby is so stinkin' cute in her glasses! I can't wait to see pics of the new grandboy. Awesome about all the August birthdays. I wish it were time for my baby: I'm already so uncomfortable.

  12. So glad to see your post- thanks for taking the time and filling us in! Love the pic of the baby- so cute!! Good luck to Cliff and his mama, and her mama as the big day approaches:)

  13. You are too funny! Wish you would write more often. I would love to be your neighbor.

  14. Glad to see you and your funny back posting.

  15. hahaha..just this minute i needed the laugh. Today i cried my way home from visiting dad. somedays i just miss my sweet momma too much. but you dear friend... this giggle and hoot i needed. blessings on you.

    but tell me why did you see that movie w/your mom and sister and not the hubs? i'm thinking he might come in handy after some such movie. : ) we are still hunting down any theatre around close to go see it.

    and i am all over the 7th sure-ety here.

  16. Hope Springs was rated PG 13.
    Mister and I went to see it and our 17 yr old daughter went with us
    as a special "family outing" for my birthday.
    I told them we would simply "never speak about it".
    It should have been rated "R".

  17. crack me up!!!

  18. Tell Clifford's mom to scrub the kitchen mom (mother of nine) swears by it! or was it when you really wanted to scrub the kitchen floor you were going to the hospital that night??? can't remember..ha!...As far as finished tasks etc...I choose not to think about it...too scary!

  19. I always read these posts to my family... Sometimes I shouldn't... ;-P I LOL over the Jen An comment but Stu n the bandana was a bit too familiar. I'm fairly sure Obama can't care. But will resist getting political. Penelope looks like a rOcKsTaR! CONGRATS on the newest little!!!! I pray all went smoothly n you're back to your big marriage bed. Dig for the bb gun tho, you never know when it'll come in handy! ;-) I sooo need a roadtrip out west to meet your awesome, crazy crew. LO<3E you Lady!
    ps Dont hate but I haven't read a book that wasn't designed for the under 10 in years. Less you count How to Talk Turkey w/your kids about Sex. I'm a chicken. I used to be a huge reader... Now that both my babes will be in school maybe I'll find time? I'll need a notepad and glasses tho! Would Penelope share? Sorry for the novel. Guess I should email you!

  20. I love your blog! I too am a farmers wife and Grammy to 5 littles. Maybe I missed it but have you had your thyroid checked? I had ALL the symptoms you are talking about: brain fog, freezing, numbness, hair falling out etc...etc...At 50 I was found to be hypothyroid, wow what 1 little pill can do for you. If you have not been checked for it I would. It has made a world of difference. Thank you for a great blog!

  21. OK...I am a suthiner and we are known for our "funny" sayings....but "fart in a skillet" made me LOL!!!! My husband is pretty much the King of I just know I'll have a use for Stuart's saying....can't wait...I KNOW he'll be LOL'ing and ROTFL...OMG..I can't stop...JK...

    Susan from GA


Thanks for reading my blather. I read every comment. They make my heart happy!