Sunday, February 27, 2011

Sunday.

This is pure blathering at it's finest.
Be warned, nothing entertaining here.
It was a good Sunday.
Church, then lunch out 
followed by a quick stop 
at Walmart.
We attend church about 
30 minutes from home.
There is lots better eating places
and much more shopping spots
in church town.
I wore my new golden slippers
and they are awesome.
Thank you God
for glitter!
I felt like a genie.
"Genie in a bottle" kept running 
through my mind...
and that ain't no church song!
After getting home
Stu moved an auger,
I started laundry, then
we paid a visit to my folks.
When we got home to stay,
Stu went to feed 
and I decided to roast some coffee.
It is a smelly job.
It is a chore I do in the garage.
It smells like burnt microwave popcorn
during the process and 
like heaven afterward.
You reek from the smoke.
Clothes, and especially your hair smell.
We were having friends over later 
and I didn't want to have to re-wash  my hair.
I had a genius plan.
I covered my hair 
with a Walmart bag
twisted it in front then,
clipped it tight with a clothes pin.
I was deep in the roast when Stu came in. 
He did not even comment 
on my resourcefulness.
"Oh Miss Scarlet, you come on
and eat jess a little, honey!"
( a little "Gone With the Wind" Mammy talk)
He still hasn't mentioned it. 
O.b.l.i.v.i.o.u.s.
We had friends come for an easy meal.
Maggie, Kylie, and Caroline too.
We cooked hot dogs in the fireplace,
and we girls settled down to watch the Oscars.
The men perused Maggie and Kylie's house plans
with Maggie and Kylie.
I put together an Oscar gift bag
for my friend Jamie.
Not as good as the stars get
but in a farm-wifely budget, not bad.
We watched gabbed until 
they decided to head home.
I gave up on the show and hit the shower.
We were having a major thunderstorm.
 The power flashed on and off several times
so I decided to shower before 
 the next round hit and we lost power.
Water from a well and no power, 
means no water.
After my shower,
I went to hang up my towel and
I was wounded.
Critically!
This fell and hit me in the mouth.

It is a piece of old woodwork
that we use as a towel bar.
It is heavy.
It hit right on my lip.
 nice pic... don't be jealous of my awesome old and the chinny chin hairs...
It split and I bled like a hog.
They bleed easily I guess.
I didn't make up the saying,
I just sling them as I see fit.
Anyway, it hurt.
I about took a knee.
Another fave saying around here.
Seriously, if I were a man,
we would be at the hospital.
It is swollen and sore.
It is cut all the way through.
I am hoping I have trouble eating.
A loss of poundage resulting from this wound.
I am committed to making it a positive thing.
You know, if life gives you lemons,
make lemon bars..
Although, if I can't drink coffee I may cry.
After all, I have fresh beans to grind.
That's Sunday drivel.
Peace out.







Labels:

9 Comments:

At February 27, 2011 at 10:21 PM , Blogger Unknown said...

Oh no! be careful!
I thought this post was really entertaining. Note: do not wear those shoes outside when it's raining. Your feet will be SOAKED.
Not that I've done that.
no.

 
At February 28, 2011 at 5:24 AM , Blogger Rebecca said...

Ouch!

 
At February 28, 2011 at 8:51 AM , Blogger Micah Jamie said...

1) I agree w/"ostriches". I wore my Tom's you gave me for my bday the last rain day & I was sorely distressed with wet feet. Who knew?
2) The oscar gift bag was fabulous. I will be attending your Oscar party every year from now on. Write that in sharpee on your calendar.
3) The entire expression is "bled like a STUCK hog" and if you ever came to butcher camp you would get a very vivid idea of why the expression came to be. Not that I'm encouraging you to go to butcher camp, b/c I don't go. But if you go next year I'll consider making an appearance. Just don't plan to see the pig get stuck b/c those wimpity wimps get the locker to do their dirty work now. Where's the pioneer spirit?
4) I love you. "i am hoping I have trouble eating" might be my most favorite thing I have ever heard you say. I will cry for you if you can't have any coffee.
5) After my mad dash to our car without face planting in your drive I thought I'd totally made it home free. That was until I chased after the demon posessed canine aka Jones (trying to get him to crate up...did he not understand it was a flippin monsoon out there??)in the pouring rain and totally busted it on our drive. Needless to say I ruined my new anthropologie tights, my elbow is even worse and I have a lovely bruise on my derriere. I will not be posting pictures. Your welcome. Jones boy better shape up or it's gonna be curtains for the tramp. And when I say curtains for the tramp I mean I will leave his happy a** out in the next monsoon and probably tell him I don't love him like I love Mathilda after I kidney punch him. You mess with the bull, you get the horn.

 
At February 28, 2011 at 10:34 AM , Blogger Abbie said...

Your ridiculousness is matched only by Jamie's "...after I kidney punch him." I love you mom!

 
At February 28, 2011 at 10:35 AM , Blogger Abbie said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

 
At February 28, 2011 at 10:37 AM , Blogger Abbie said...

ps I also loved the "I hope i have trouble eating" comment but it is not my favorite. how can it be when I've heard you yell "merry effing christmas!" hahahahaha!

 
At February 28, 2011 at 11:56 AM , Blogger Esther Goss said...

Ah my friend, made me laugh till I cried! Love ya girl!

 
At March 2, 2011 at 6:10 AM , Blogger Leslie @ Farm Fresh Fun said...

Wow. Waaay too many images in my head now. Guess that's not all bad as I needed some to replace the granny and thong undie visions I'd had! You're so right about the men going to hospital - hahaha! Hope you're on the mend and kissable, if only by Reta! ;-)
hugs,
Leslie

 
At December 31, 2012 at 6:06 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Seeing Abbie's comment (I know I sound like I know your girls...please don't block me thinking I am a crazy stalker)....I agree that you will NEVVVVVA live down your "Merry Effing Christmas" comment. I, too, live in the same world. My grown daughters NEVVVVA let me live ANYthing down. But then...that's "family", right? Many, many people would LOVE to be LOVED like we are...even if we are reminded of our motherhood boo-boo's ad nauseum for eternity! ;)

Susan from GA

 

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