Zzzzzzz

I should be in bed. 

I could barely keep my eyes open

while I watched one of my fave shows

I had taped.

I love Kathy Bates.

She is 62.

She looks her age.

I saw Melanie Griffith last week.

She is 53.

She looks about 30 and weird.

Why do celebrities do that to their faces?

Melanie is about a size 0,

Kathy is a bit rounder.

I try not to buy into the celebrity crazy

but I find myself thinking

I need to look like that.

Not enough, to skip a meal but 

enough to chastise myself for not

being my high school weight.

I am sick that way.

I have food issues. 

My life is a constant battle

with wanting to be thinner.

I am focusing on health, not a size.

I have done the weight loss bible studies

and many different eating plans.

I like to eat. It is our social life.

Some say 3 meals a day...

some say 6 small meals a day.

I want to eat 1 meal a day

starting in the morning and 

ending in the evening.

I am a work in progress.

I have good days and bad days.

I refuse to give up.

But, I get tired of treading water too.

I have a partner, well several actually

who are on this same journey.

We try to encourage, 

but not make excuses for each other.

Anyway, back to my point. 

I am up and I should not be.

I mixed up the recipe and

I have the dough raising 

for the bread my friend, Jayme

posted about here.

Bread that I plan not to eat. 

I don't do well 

with even a small piece on trigger foods.

I am checking emails and then

I am off to finish my book.

It is sad, yet inspiring.

I spent time with Annie's littles today.

Caroline was off to the other grandma's 

to see out of state company.

I picked them up from preschool,

went to the grocery store,

then we played on the trampoline 

and enjoyed the weather.

I taught them how to play Hot Potato.

They thought it was a blast.

It isn't. 

They think I am fun.

They are easily entertained.

Tomorrow I am roasting coffee beans

and going to hold that baby again.

I didn't get my fill today.

I am not sure it is possible

to get my fill of her!

We have plans to go to dinner 

with good friends.

It is going to be a slower weekend

this weekend I hope.

Just lots of baby time and 

a few projects I want to do.

Hopefully I will have more

interesting things to report

in the next blog.

I have just about

bored my own self to sleep 

with this one.

If you are still awake,

consider it a bedtime story

meant to induce a coma.

Feel free to read it nightly.

You're welcome.