Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Partners in Crime

While I was in St. Louis
I had a partner in crime.
She was my side-kick.
The Lucy to my Ethel
or vice versa.
The Courtney to my Jennifer,
if you will. ;)
I fear we were both a little like
Cosmo Kramer, if the kids vote.
Her name is Ruby.
She is my in-law.
Her son is my son(in-law).
I love her.
I reeeeally like her.
She is stupid in a good way.
We took pictures of Ollie.
I took her picture.
You can see 
my mad photography skillz
all over this picture!
She makes me cackle. 
I make her belly laugh.
We make our kids roll their eyes.
After Ollie's birth
most of the team had to go home.
We grandmas remained.
We shifted into our groove.
The second day Ollie 
needed to eat.
Annie had nursed her,but her milk wasn't in.
They needed Ollie to take a bottle.
That sweet baby just wanted to sleep.
We laid hands on her and prayed.
She was supposed to eat
at least 15-20 somethings of the formula 
along with her mommy's colostrum.
She took 30 somethings.
We  hovered over her bed.
We couldn't hold her.
So we just gazed and adored.
Ollie would startle easily. 
The nurse said it was normal.
An alarm or buzzer would make her
jump and flail her arms.
Ruby : It's like she is reliving
falling down the birth canal.
Me: Yeah like Alice
falling down the rabbit hole.
(pointing at Ruby)
 Ollie, this is The Mad Hatter.
Ruby: (pointing at me)
 And this is The Cheshire Cat.
The night of our "slumber party"
we watched a ridiculous show
on CMT...Redneck Wedding.
It was nuts.
A bunch of toothless wonders
planning their perfect wedding.
So dumb. So fun.
The bride had a stripper pole 
fashioned for the bed
of the groom's pick-up truck.
It was her gift to him
for the reception.
The groom and the bride's mother
went motorcycle shopping.
His gift was to be a bike 
for his "lovely" bride.
The bride's mother said
"well, if you get the bike,
you have to get her a brain bucket."
I thought that was so amusing.
 Brain bucket...I love it.
I declared "I will use that
in a conversation tomorrow."
The next day Jade, Ruby, and I 
were visiting about the other kids,
Aubrie and Everett.
Ruby: Well, as clumsy as Ev was
he should have had a helmet.
Me: You mean a brain bucket?
We died.
We air high-fived 
each other from across the room.
Jade looked bewildered.
Ruby: When you said you would use that,
I never thought you would be able
to work that one in.
Me: I tell ya words have power. 
Put it out there in the atmosphere 
and it will come back to you. 
Thank you for the segue my friend.

We will be here all week.
Don't forget to tip your waitress.


  1. It sounds like your St. Louis experience is one you won't forget for many, many reasons! How wonderful that you and your counterpart are such peas in a pod!

  2. Nothing better than that in the whole world. My Sister is the other half of my comedy team. You wind up making memories that stay with you forever. I'm so glad you have Ruby! :)

  3. You two are something else. You need the picture I took of you two the last day for this.

  4. Hilarious! somehow i can picture you doing exactly what you just said! i dont even know ruby but she must be as crazy as you! Love it!


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